His success is too much to handle!
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| Wed, 01-04-2006 - 12:13pm |
Hello Everyone!
My issue is the future. My new boyfriend of 5 months is going to be famous in the very near future. I really like him. He says he really likes me too but I cant help but to wonder if all that will change once he gets famous. We have recently had a serious argument over a non-related issue that we have worked through. And I know it might sound crazy but that argument has brought us closer. We are more open and understanding with each other now. Things have been moving very fast in our relationship, it seems like we have been together for a lot longer than 5 months.
When I first met him, he told me of his success and pre-warned me of his future stardom but at the time it seemed too surreal. So, I just brushed it off and continued to date him. Now, I really like him. He is such a good guy! (Not like the usual jerks I'm used to) I don't know if I can handle the jealousy that's sure to follow. I can't handle the girls and the fans! I can't handle not seeing him often! And I can't handle not knowing what's going on when I'm not around.
The crazy thing is...It hasn't happened yet! My BF assures me that he has been looking for the right woman and I'm that for him. But the fact is that we have only been together 5 months.
Should I leave know and spare myself the heartache? Or should I give this a chance?

How would leaving now spaer yourself any heartache? especially if his future stardom is so near on the horizon?
And you are right, you have only been dating for 5 months. Just take things slowly.
I don't see why you shouldn't give it a chance.
And I just have to ask, how do you know he is going to be famous?
Jen
"And I just have to ask, how do you know he is going to be famous?"
And who is he, so we can all be impressed?
Carrie
It's not at all crazy that a settled argument has made you feel closer, that's pretty normal. Along the way you've learned more about each other, opened up a little more to each other and have a deeper, wider understanding of each other. Of course you feel closer!
Nobody knows what they can and can't handle until they're faced with it. New experiences are an opportunity to learn about yourself and the circumstance, do some adapting, perhaps struggle for a while until you find a method of dealing with whatever it is that works for you and often has you learning a lot about yourself along the way. Sometimes what you'll learn is that you cannot handle it and wouldn't go through the experience again, but until you experience it you don't know. Lots of things seem scary, hard, intimidating, etc., before you've tried them and if we all backed away from things that seemed hard we'd have very few new experiences, very little positive thoughts and energy about our abilities and not much would have been accomplished in the world at all! You can only try it one step, one day at a time and you can say "enough" at any point along the way. Why predetermine you *can't* do anything?
I want to throw out a word of caution as far as you being "the one" after being together for five months. The thing is, even though you think you know each other very, very well, at this stage of the game there is still much more that you don't know about each other than there are things that you do know about each other. Also, at this stage of the relationship you're not quite behaving as you really are, you're both being a little nicer, a little more thoughtful, putting a little more effort in than you do in "real life". At about the one year mark you get to the stage where you're going to see him as he really is. So, to deem you as "the one" at this early date is pretty premature at best, and indicates someone isn't yet making good choices for how he views his future. You may seem *perfect* for each other at five months and not even close to being right for each other at ten months. If he's quite young (and I'm guessing you are) that would explain the early claim of "your it for me", if he's not, his statement should be considered a big warning sign.
I'm interested to hear your answers to his "soon-to-be successful and famous" status.
~ cl-2nd_life"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
He is a musician/producer/song writer/magazine editor. He is 31. He has been negotiating a tour this fall 06. He will open for Ludacris, Ciarra and a few other artists from the south. He owns his own magazine company and he and his staff interviews artists like Justine Timberlake, Mary J. Blige, Puff Daddy and Gwen Stefani.
Even though he will be one of the opening acts, its just the start. He is virtually unknown now but even the "unknown" acts are surrounded by groupies!
CL is right. I dont know him well enough to say what he will or wont do. And that is where the problem lies. I dont want to get closer and closer to another man that will ultimately break my heart. I am 26 years old and even though I'm young, I hate wasting my time.
Thanks!