Honesty
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Honesty
| Mon, 06-19-2006 - 9:45pm |
I have been married to my present wife for less than one year. It came up today and has in the past about being clean. That means showers. Her daughter hardly ever does and goes days without and is a pig! I lovingly tried to mention to my wife that I would prefer she shower in the evening, as I like to go to bed with my wife smelling nice/clean.To be kind. Womanly odor etc. She does have it after working all day. Physical job or not. . She does shower every day unlike her DD/ but it is always in the AM/. Well I am sorry She stated to me all I do is sit at a desk all day. SO what you sweat!!!!I think any man likes to go to bed with his wife clean! If she feels the need to wake up in the am and shower again do so.
My problem is just this. She insists she never showered in the evening when we met. I remember otherwise. She always did and cuddled up to me CLEAN.! Strictly now I feel because I told her about my ex and I considered that unacceptable. My ex always smelled like a fish! I think she feels so secure now she does no have to. WHAT!!!!! Hello? And I was kind when I mentioned it to her . She got all pissed off! and would not talk to me the rest of the night. FINE be A PIG do not respect your husband! I do have repsect for my spouse .
I even mentioned to her her ex said the same , she told me that now she denies it! Sorry I am the type of guy that showers every evening and in the AM. I am a very clean person! I go to bed to my wife clean! If she feels the need to be pissed at me for being honest and really not looking at what I said in a nice manner than she she has the problem not me. Also it can drive a man away! Not that she bothers with me anyway. i am starting to feel she does not care. And guess what?? I am a guy that cares alot about my wife! HELLO wake up!
My problem is just this. She insists she never showered in the evening when we met. I remember otherwise. She always did and cuddled up to me CLEAN.! Strictly now I feel because I told her about my ex and I considered that unacceptable. My ex always smelled like a fish! I think she feels so secure now she does no have to. WHAT!!!!! Hello? And I was kind when I mentioned it to her . She got all pissed off! and would not talk to me the rest of the night. FINE be A PIG do not respect your husband! I do have repsect for my spouse .
I even mentioned to her her ex said the same , she told me that now she denies it! Sorry I am the type of guy that showers every evening and in the AM. I am a very clean person! I go to bed to my wife clean! If she feels the need to be pissed at me for being honest and really not looking at what I said in a nice manner than she she has the problem not me. Also it can drive a man away! Not that she bothers with me anyway. i am starting to feel she does not care. And guess what?? I am a guy that cares alot about my wife! HELLO wake up!

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Showering more than once a day isn't good for your skin. Personally, I shower every morning and go to bed without re-showering. My husband does the same. The only exception would be when I work out on my lunch hour, then I shower before returning to work. But, I still don't shower before bed.
If you prefer to shower at night, that's your choice, your preference. You're no more wrong to choose the time you prefer to shower than your wife is. This is about personal preference, something that is maintained in marriage. You don't have to agree with your wife's choice, but you do need to accept it, just as she accepts yours. As such, she's no more a pig for her preference than you are for yours.
Like the medical and child support payments from her ex-husband and the loan repayments from her ex-boyfriend,
What am I to do? ????
Right thing to do
you need to leave this one alone. There is no one "right time" to shower.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
I agree with cl_2nd life. Showering twice a day is bad for your skin. Also, if a woman is prone to east infections, extra washing will encourage genital problems.
My husband and I shower in the mornings only - unless one of us has been doing extra exercise or has been outdoors all day a heat wave. Assuming that a person uses deodorant and avoids 100% synthetic clothing, anything more really isn't necessary.
I'd actually be really disappointed if DH showered every evening - as showering washes away all those sexy pheromones! I'd much prefer my DH to smell like himself than like a cake of soap.
There is one thing in your post that I'd like to draw your attention to: You call her a PIG (in capital letters no less) but in the next sentence you say that you respect her. What is wrong with this picture?
Edited 6/20/2006 5:13 am ET by iv_aisha2004
I agree with everything the other posters said -- showering twice a day is bad for the hair and skin and I don't blame your wife for not wanting to do it.
You don't strike me as a guy who cares a lot about his wife. You strike me as a guy who wants what he wants, wants it his way no matter what, and everyone and their wants revolve around you.
You don't respect your wife. No one who did would talk about your wife the way you have. Take a long hard look at yourself.
Jen
The fish smell was/is probably a sign of a bacterial infection. That's a telltale sign. But... that was your EX. This is about your wife.
Are you referring to her feminine odor as fishy as well, or does it just smell like a vagina normally smells? We can't scrub our natural odor away, as it will, like others said, lead to infection and irritation. Furthermore, that's supposed to be the scent that gets you aroused! If it's during her period, maybe she could use a hypoallergenic baby wipe before bed. I know I've done that myself, mostly because it just helps you feel fresher during that time.
In any case, your wife isn't a pig. My fiance isn't a pig for waiting 'til morning either. I'm not a pig for only showering at night once in a while. It's a personal preference. Deal with it and enjoy her scent. There's a reason people joke "it smells like sex in here"!
I believe he was calling his step-daughter a pig, not his wife. Not that that's a nice thing, either, but it's different from calling his wife a pig.
However, I agree with everyone else...showering 2x a day is excessive and to consider his wife unclean because she showered in the morning is a little out of whack, IMO. When read in conjunction with the OP's other posts, there seem to be some control issues going on here.
Sheri
Shari,
He did refer to his wife as a pig.
"FINE be A PIG do not respect your husband! I do have respect for my spouse . "
Furthermore, he used something she told him about a past relationship as ammunition and justification for his demands (SMH).
"I even mentioned to her her ex said the same , she told me that now she denies it!"
Low blow in my book.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
Thank you I respect your opinion. Your correct I do not have to agree with her but it is her right when she wants to. Just to clarify my feelings because I have read all the others replies to my post.
1. I love my wife and care not to control her. She is an individual.
2. She has a right to bathe when she wants.
3. I do respect her and her opinion on anything. We are not perfect.
4. This is a touchy subject for most women. I realize that.
5. I also have a right to my opinions and feelings.I would prefer my wife showers in the evening as to come to bed clean. It was a request , NOT A DEMAND!
6.. I think alot of women that read my post took extreme offense to it, and I know why. Thats fine. If it was offensive in any way to any of you I apologize. I am only human. I just prefer my spouse to come to bed bathed. I do it every evening because I do not want to offend her! GET IT? Maybe my words where not the best but I am only human with feelings and emotions.
Oops, I missed that...I just saw the first reference to the daughter. Never mind then (in my best Gilda Radner voice ;-)).
Sheri
Narscarnutt,
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
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