Hopeless Situation,Need Good Advice
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|Wed, 12-19-2012 - 4:21pm|
This is probably the oddest situation anyone's heard of but I need someone on the outside to talk to.I'm a 39 year old woman.About 20yrs ago I joined into business with my family.I have a disability where I cannot be alone but I was with family so it didn't matter.I kept up my job for 20yrs till it came to an end.Everyone pursued different things but it left me staying at home even though I was a grown woman.During that time I moved to the US to continue the family business.I had a visa which expired and am now getting a greencard.This of course takes time.Now I'm left at home unable to get a job legally nor get a licence.It leaves me totally dependant on family who in turn berate me for being a burden on them.I cannot go back to my home country there is nothing left there for me.I cannot move out with no job and no vehicle.It could take up to five years to get my greencard.
Skipping ahead to today...Four years ago I met a wonderful man.He understands my disability and we are now engaged.He lost his job and took over a year to find a job that doesn't pay as well as his old one.He lives an hour away so he visits every weekend at my parents house.In the summer we are able to stay away and have our privacy.He has been so wonderful about this weird,stupid mess.The problem is I have a father who is dominering and verbally abusive.He treats me like a child.He doesn't want my fiance and I to be affectionate more than holding hands and a kiss on the cheek.Anything further is sinful.Now my fiance and I have agreed to wait for sex till we're married but we are affectionate.We have been together 4yrs and not had sex.I kept my father away as much as possible but now he is insinuating his way between us.My guy and I are planning to get married this year if we can get the money together to do so.My father is now wanting to set rules as to how my fiance and I are affectionate with each other.He says its his home and he has total authority.He's getting more verbally abusive and puts me down constantly.He's talked behind my back to family and friends and says they all agree with him.He turned my sister against me and her husband.My relationship with my mother is now at the breaking point too.I do not know what to do.I don't want to lose my fiance but my father kicked up such a stink last weekend that I told my fiance to take the ring back.It's not fair for him to deal with all this drama and rules.He said he won't leave but I dated another guy for a year before my fiance and I met and my father chased him away.He says he wants me out of the house and then strangles the relationship so much that they end up leaving me.I love my fiance so much and he does so much for me.He's almost 45yrs old and I'm 39.We act like adults.We don't either of us drink or party.We're not having sex in his home.We don't do drugs and there are no kids out of wedlock.What more does he want?? Before I met my fiance I was cutting myself the stress was so much.I don't know what to do.Right now I'm stuck here and my father knows and uses this against me.He threatens to leave my mother and I destitute unless we agree to his rules.I know this all sounds insane but I need advice and don't know what to do.Anyone have any ideas?Thanks so much.