How do you find Commonalities???....

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
How do you find Commonalities???....
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 10:31am
It might sound like a crazy question, but:

How can you identify more commonalities, say, on which to build better interests & a relationship with your hubby???

Like I can identify: Our Kids, & Going out to Eat (you can only eat til you get too fat) with ours.....

Avatar for memphisstars
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 11:20pm
Do you mean like taking classes in things you think might interest you both, or exploring ideas in Sunday school classes or visiting the library and sharing books on subjects that interest you both, perhaps traveling? It seems the possibilities are limited only by time and your imagination.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 8:56am
I can totally relate to where you are. I had, and sometimes still do, wonder where my hubby and I are going to find some common interests other than the ones that are part of the everyday scene.

Surprisingly, I've found the news to be something that stems conversation with us so we watch the news sometimes together (he watches it all the time but it's just too much bad news for me). We also enjoy going to concerts together and at home listening to music and having a few drinks. He also enjoys sports so that is something that we enjoy doing together sometimes, watching football or basketball or baseball-ok he's kind of a sport junkie, I'm not quite a widow but he likes it a lot. I'm sure he wishes he had more time for it.

So maybe these aren't so much commonalities as they are ways that I look for to have bonding kind of time with my hubby. It seems to work for us most when I go out into the garage when he's cleaning it and grab a broom and stuff like that. He also will come sit down in the kitchen while I'm making dinner and chat with me which is a way HE gets involved in what I'M doing.

We have two children and so our lives mostly revolve around their softball and violin and school plays etc. etc. so the time that fills in between (other than date nights that we schedule which usually is a movie and a dinner cuz that's our fave) is the day to day stuff. So we have to look for the opportunities we have to take that day to day and make the best of it.

Something that you've undoubtedly figured out is that you'll be the initiator most of the time. I got my hubby to come and chat with me during dinner prep sometimes but theres not any other times that I can think of that he is the one looking for the opportunities. I think that just the way it is and it's ok because I accept it and move on.

I hope any of this is what you were looking for.

Take Care,