how do you tell him he's got bad breath?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
how do you tell him he's got bad breath?
7
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 11:45am

I've been seeing this guy for a couple of months now -- he is wonderful. He's everything and more I could ever want in a guy and we're very happy together, except there is one flaw that is really throwing a monkey wrench in all of this -- very often he has bad breath! It's an embarrassing topic and I feel funny bringing it up, but it's SUCH a turnoff! And I could offer him mints or whatever, but that just masks it. it needs to go away for good.

It's not like he doesn't brush his teeth...he brushes like 3 times a day. I honestly don't know why it's bad. it just is. I thought about mentioning that I was going to start using a tongue scraper so that I wouldn't have bad breath...maybe he'd think about it for himself and start it too. Maybe if I just put the idea in his head (even if he thought I was bringing it up for my own purposes) he'd think it was a good idea and do it himself. I don't know. Any advice would be very much appreciated. THANKS!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 12:43pm
If he brushes 3x a day, he probably already knows that he has bad breath. Some people just do and they can't get rid of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 12:57pm

I agree with the other poster -- if he's brushing that much, he probably knows he has bad breath.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 2:15pm

I know it is sensitive and touchy but the best way to deal with it is direct if you ask me ;-)


My guy had bad breath when I first met him.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 3:02pm
Bad breath can be a sign of a bigger more serious illness/issue. Go to webmd or google some info about the causes of bad breath. I'd bring it up. If you guys are comfortable with e/o, you should be able to discuss it without awkwardness. My bf had major bowel issues and we discussed it openly even tho I'm sure it was super embarrassing for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 4:32pm

awesome...thanks so much to you all for your responses! Very good ideas to consider -- I hadn't even thought it could be an indication of something worse, nor had I thought of webMD or google. really, thank you!

yeah, I agree that open communication is the way to go and I should just be upfront with him about it. I don't feel like I can bring it up just yet though -- we're still a new couple and we're not at that "stage" yet haha. But I do feel very comfortable around him and I know that in the near future, I will be able to talk about these types of things with him. honesty's the best policy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 8:05pm

Well, everytime he says something in a range where you smell his breath, just starting looking around and saying, "it smells like someone's dog crapped in here.....do you see the poo anywhere?!?!"

I'm sorry, I have a sick sense of humor and I know that probably wasn't funny for you.

I think you do need to be direct with him. Maybe he knows already, as other posters, pointed out, but probably not. He can't smell his own breath and others are probably just as hesitent to say something as you are. It could be the result of certain medical/dental problems and may be easilty resolved. Then again, maybe not. Either way, if you care about him, and a potential smelly free future, you need to do it in a delicate way.

Guys don't take hints like the one you've come up with about the tounge scrapper. Plus that might not even help with his problem. It is very likely that it comes from his stomach or teeth and that will not help at all.

Again, stay away from hints. They often don't work and guys don't make the connection so easy. Be direct. Good luck and again, sorry about the joke if you take offense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 1:58am

I agree with Dirextor, asking if he's been to the dentist lately is a good way to approach it. It may well be that he really does need to see the dentist (as you probably found on your internet search). And, even if he knows he has chronic bad breath, I'm betting he doesn't know if it's bad for you ro not. You don't smell your own breath, you know? FYI, I've also read that to really effectively brush to get rid of odors, not only should you brush and scrape your tongue, but you should brush the roof of your mouth too. I always do if I've eaten something like garlic. Yep, it gags me, but I do it anyway.


A couple of good reasons to mention it now (besides the fact that he may have a dental issue that needs to be addressed) is that if you bring it up that way and it's something he already is aware of he'll probably be grateful that you brought it up in a non-offensive way so that he can talk about it and explain (if there's something to explain). It will also give you the opportunity to find out how he feels about it. For instance, I once had a boyfriend who simply didn't care if he had bad breath. He wouldn't brush his teeth or take mints if I told him his breath was bad. If you knew he'd not take measures to remedy this when he knew it was a problem for you, it might make you less apt to continue a relationship with him. And quite frankly, staying in a relationship with a guy with awful breath isn't something I think I could do. Getting in the mood and staying in the mood is pretty difficult when you're gagging every time you breath in.







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when you don't get what you want."

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