How to end a rebound relationship that moved too fast.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2012
How to end a rebound relationship that moved too fast.
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 11:31am

I hope that someone will have some advice for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

You are going to have to be firm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2012

I feel for you. But there really is no other way to get out of this situation than to do it now and tell him exactly what you wrote to us. You can't afford to keep him in your life. He is an adult man, he needs to get his own life in shape before he has anything to offer to anyone else. You and your kids need to be your priority.

It will be very difficult to do this, but you have no other way to save yourself from following him into land of broke. Try not to listen to his excuses or promises of better future. Maybe write him a letter telling him it's over if you can't talk to him? Or have someone with you when you tell him. Just so he can't bully you into giving him a second chance. He is going to try anything not to be sent out. Be prepared. And keep remembering you need to do this for your own and your kids sake!

For future relationships..obviously you've learned a lesson. Keep it in mind. Don't move in with anyone unless you know them very well and their finances are good enough for you not having to help them in any way.

Good luck! It will get better as soon as you're on your own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

There must be an epidemic of this going on because there is a similar post on another board from a different person in the same circumstance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

I agree you have to be direct. You also have to go into it with the mindset of "I'm going to tell him what the status quo is, and then start moving out". Don't go into it looking to start a conversation, he'll use it as an opportunity to change your mind. You've already gone through a lot of difficulty trying to make this decision, and you're not looking to back down from it.

So keep it as brief as possible. That's all I can recommend. Have an idea of how to start the moving-out process, because that is going to be your next step after telling him you are done. Best of luck to you, I know it's not easy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001

I apologize for getting here so late, Shabner ~

Let me tell you first that I too was in a long term marriage (17 yrs)with a verbally abusive man and when I ended it I had nothing (including no job), so I do have some understanding of where you're coming from.

~ cl-2nd_life

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007

The key to getting this to work is to NOT NEGOTIATE OR EXPLAIN!!!!!

You have to be a broken record, "I'm sorry, this relationship is not working for me.