How wrong am I.... if at all

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
How wrong am I.... if at all
13
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 3:43pm

New here.... been lurking and I hae to ask am I wrong.

I sold a piece of porperty that I acquired before marrying darling hubby........ well not sell in the traditoinal sense but my interstes were attained by another...... I did not see the need to share this info, as this is and was my property, no monies ever came from hubby's bank account....

He told me that I was wrong became very angry with me and said that I am shady, sneaky and will keep secrets from him that I might as well be cheting on him.

Now yes, may be I should have share the details of the transaction prior to but I was not required to in my opinon as the property was mines prior to marriage, he had no interest.

I can understand your being upset but the name calling, that is throwing me for a loop.....

sorry for any typo's but I am typing through tears.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 4:17pm
well i guess it depends on what sort of financial "agreement" you guys operate under. In my marriage we both have separate things that we don't feel it is necessary to discuss with the other - however, the major things we definitely discuss, especially if it will have long term consequences for both of us. for example, the house is totally his but he discussed getting a home equity b/c it affects our total bottom line and certain expenses were going to come out of it, etc. now even if you usually discuss this type of stuff his reaction is completely out of line. he is trying to make you feel guilty and i wouldn't fall for it. perhaps you bath have different expectations of "separate" and that needs to be discussed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 4:28pm
he always said it was my property so it was my money
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 6:45pm

At the very least, it would have been courtesy to discuss it with your husband. If I were in the same situation, I'd be extremely POd with my husband for not even telling me what was going on.

With this in mind, why didn't you discuss it with him out of pure courtesy? Do you not trust him?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 6:49pm

Of course you're not legally "required" to tell him if it was your sole property, but why wouldn't you? Was there are reason you wouldn't even mention it? That seems like it would be a fairly significant thing to not come up in conversation...

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 8:54pm

I trust my husband....

he knew I was selling the house but after the house was tied up on 2 seperate occassions, 6 morre house went up for sell, I just wanted to get rid of it because I did not want to go back another time and say it fell out of escrow.........I just wanted to get rid of it.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 11:14pm

I'm sorry, I'm very confused.

Did you sell your property or give it away? When I read your first post and you say that no money changed hands, I'm inclined to think it was the latter.

If you did give it away, who did you give it to and why? Was your husband aware that no money would be changing hands? If he wasn't aware, why didn't you tell him?

Could you please give us some more information about why you did what you did - and why your husband is upset?




Edited 7/27/2006 11:20 pm ET by iv_aisha2004
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:02am
my interest were purchased from me......... because he was not involved in the decision i made re: my house
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:10am

Welcome to the board, Whatisit2005, I'm glad you decided to de-lurk, and I'm sorry you're going through this.


Like Aisha, I'm looking for a clearer understanding of what actually transpired, it could make a big difference. I'm also wondering if this is how he normally reacts when he's upset or angry, is it?







~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 8:57am
I'm sorry, I still don't get it. Could you please give a lengthy description of what transpired?
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2006
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 10:11am

Hello,

I am a little confused too. I have property that I had before I married D/H. I either rent it or sell it. Currently I'm renting it. I'm not quite sure what you mean by your interests were attained. Did you soley own this property or was it a joint ownership of some sort and someone bought your interest in it?

I would have told my D/H out of courtesy.

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