hurt and need help
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hurt and need help
| Mon, 04-17-2006 - 3:07am |
me and my bf has been together for 4 years and lived together for 2. i'm just 20 years old and everytime i go to love on him or something he like pushes me away. i've been getting word on a gurl he works with about wanting to have sex with him. and i'm worried that he has cheated on me? he won't have fun or laugh. he doesn't wanna do nothing and i've tried talking to him about it and he just blocks me out? and he says he loves me and doesn't want me to go? what should i think.. someone give it to me straight out. i need help tho. cause i'm tired of taking bulls**t

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It's quite simple really....if he doesn't get his act together, you leave. When he says that he wants you to stay, ask him what changes he's prepared to make so that you will WANT to stay. If he shuts you out, then you know he's not serious about wanting you to stay with him.
That aside, you've been with him since you were 16. Both of you would have done some serious growing and changing during this time, and both of you will continue to do so. It's quite likely that you will grow out of this relationship and find someone who's far more suited to who you are now.
good luck!
Aisha's exactly right with how you handle this. You know that you're not happy or satisfied. If he's not willing to make changes - or if his changes only last for a little while before he goes back to the "same old same old" - you know it's time to move on, so that's what you do.
I'll also take a step further and say that with the ages you're at and the ages you were at when you got together it isn't that you "quite likely will" grow out of the relationship, you already have grown out of the relationship and that's the reason for the problems you're having now. You've changed a lot since you were 16, and so has he; there are years of more changes ahead before you're through it. As you mature and change, you're nowhere close to the girl you were at 16, and the guy who was perfect for you back then is far from who's right for you now. Same goes for him, and those changes are likely the reason for the problems and dissatisfaction you're having now.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
I agree with the other responses.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
"the idiot won't even let me have my drivers license and i know that's gone too far"
Please hear what you just said!
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
What do you mean he won't let you have your driver's license?
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Cutie, we can give you more help that can get you where you want and need to be faster, sooner, smarter if we have a clearer understanding of your situation. From your response to Dirextor, we now know that you suspect he's cheating and that he calls you names, but we don't understand a whole lot more about what's going on in your actual relationship. Without knowing, we don't know what direction to point you in, what suggestions to make, what to offer that could be a very real help to you. You came here for help, right? We can't give you good help without knowing what we need to know first. We gotta know first. I'm hoping you'll answer the questions I asked earlier, they're important, but, it's your choice, it's up to you. If not, I hope you come back when you're ready.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
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