husband acts like a baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
husband acts like a baby
3
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 12:06pm


We have been married for 11 years and have a 8 year old daughter.

My husband is 40 and if you tell him something he gets insulted and acts like a baby.
I told him the other day that he needs to tell our daughter in a nicer tone to do something rather then demanding it... he goes on and on about how i let her get away with everything and blames me! He says I am always picking on him. ( not true )He blames me for not having the drive to clean out my closet( he helped me clean it out on Sunday and then he gets tired and blames me ) He drives me crazy... he does not like to be blamed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 1:19am

>>He drives me crazy... he does not like to be blamed<<

Of course he doesn't like to be blamed. Nobody like to be blamed.

I'd say that you (and he) need to change your communication style. If you give us some examples, perhaps we can give some ideas on better wording and timing.




Edited 1/24/2006 1:22 am ET by iv_aisha2004
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 2:49am

From what you've said it could be him, it could be that the manner in which you approach him, and it could be a combination and more. For example, telling someone what they need to do ("I told him the other day that he needs to tell our daughter in a nicer tone to do something rather then demanding it.") is a sure way to get cause an angry response. As far as the closet incident goes, it could be that you don't communicate well together or it could be that one of you was upset and picking a fight. It does sound like maybe the two of you have gotten into a habit of communicating poorly. There are some articles in our Information and Resources section that might help you:
Verbal Fencing With Someone You Love
Ten Rules For Fair Fighting
Dos and Don'ts For Fair Fighting
Conflicts - Points to Remember
1. Lessons in Communication & Assertion
2. Lessons cont. - Steps to Assertion
3. Lessons cont. - Language of Assertion
4. Lessons cont. - More on Communication


Posting some more detailed examples of arguments between you might let us offer you suggestions based on your actual conversation with him.


You might consider seeing a therapist/counselor who is certified in a field of couples counseling to work toward better communication. It's very likely that your issues are in need of a face-to-face counselor to resolve the issues and help you both learn tools to better communicate with each other with.








~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2006
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 9:16pm
I have to agree Aisha.Who does like to be blamed?Certainly nobody that I have come across my entire life.That is unless there is a reward.My husband does tell me that I am not hard enough on my child.I just let him know that he may think so and that is fine but that I am doing what I believe is best and right for our daughter what matters to me.He don't make a fuss about it.He pretty much knows now that we both can't agree on everything when it comes to raising her and I am with her all the time and that I need to do what I can for her to listen to me.(SAHM).I do want to say that if you have a difference of opinion on something when it comes to disiplining your child then you should talk about it in private.NOT in fromt of your child.THat is the worst thing that you can do.It makes one parent look like the bad guy.Or look like the parent is wrong for disipling the child all together.I have this problem when it comes to my dear mother in law.she is always telling up how to raise our children and corrects or when she believes we are doing something wrong.In front of our daughter.She does not believe in disipline at all when it comes to children therefor when we disipline our daughter she speaks up.Our daughter is 3 by the wya and well it confuses her.Anyway that's beside the point just want to say that I understand that and to give my advice on speaking up about differences.--------Love,Kathy