Husband and Youtube

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2011
Husband and Youtube
9
Sun, 01-29-2012 - 11:37pm

Hi - I need some help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 1:45am
No your not crazy at all. You have a right to your feelings and to express them. Dr.Phil has said that frequent porn viewing can be a gateway to cheating. I am curious about why his trade has anything to do with him wearing a wedding ring? I do agree with you that if he is regularly drinking, smoking pot, and leaving porno mags. around the house, that he is NOT setting a very good example for your young girls. You should at least tell him how you feel, but ultimately it will be up to him whether he sees this and wants to change his habits. Are these things deal breakers for you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2011
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 6:41am
Thank you very much for your response. Luckily, he only had one magazine and it was in his man cave downstairs and if he drinks any beer he does it out his garage which is unattached and the girls don't got out there much due to the fact he has a lot of dangerous tools and stuff. He doesn't wear a ring bc he works w/ electricity and heavy/dangerous equipment. Plus, he's a little ADHD/OCD and he is one of those types that certain clothes and materials can be very annoying/uncomfortable to him. The minute he put his ring on it was uncomfortable. I always felt comfortable enough that I was okay with him not wearing it if it was uncomfortable. The drinking/pot are not dealbreakers for me b/c he's subtle if he has a buzz - not sloppy or noticeable to the girls. I just don't like that he lies about it or sneaks around. I feel like those white lies can lead to or are indicators of bigger lies. Just as the porn viewing is a gateway like you said. I should also add that he doesn't know how to use the computer and has never looked at this stuff since we have been married. The YouTube just makes it so accessible. I actually took it upon myself and locked him out of the YouTube last night. I think I need to have an adult conversation with him about it when we can talk alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 12:41pm

I can't really figure out what the actual problem is here. You spend most of your post talking about the most trivial problem (looking at porn on youtube). I don't see why that's a big deal to you if you have a good sex life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 9:16pm

Are you uncomfortable w/ the You Tube videos because they are "real" women and not like "models" or whatever you'd call women who are in Playboy or porn?

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 9:59pm

"


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 9:10am

"No, none of that is typical or acceptable. In fact, it raises many red flags.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 1:27am

I agree.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 4:02pm

<< I actually took it upon myself and locked him out of the YouTube last night. >>

Red flag alert!

If my lover acted like my mom, I'd be looking to supplement too. If nothing else, act out my independence as a man against mommy's wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 11:49pm

Given his job description, it's totally understandable that he doesn't wear a ring.