Husbands old girlfriend...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2003
Husbands old girlfriend...
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 1:48am

I'm writing this because I really don't know what to do and I'm hoping for some outside opinions on this matter.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 3:34am

Welcome back, Mochadelicious ~

First, I'm wondering how your previous issue resolved ( Need honest opinions I being selfish?), are you taking back Sunday for yourself and how did your husband react to you doing that?

Next, I'd like to address your statement, "It definately hasn't been easy but I don't think any marriage is." while all marriages certainly take attention and care, they do not have to be and should not be difficult.

~ cl-2nd_life

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 6:07am

"Should I put a stop to him conversing with her anymore or turn a blind eye to it and hope it's nothing?"

First of all, you need to realize that you can't control him or stop him from doing anything. You can express to him your feelings on the matter and ask that he stop conversing with her but he is a grown man with free will, not a child you can order around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 9:04am

There is some discrepancy here...

You asked him if he thought there was more to her pictures than just old memories, and he accused you of freaking out. Obviously if you just asked simply "do you think it's anything more?" that couldn't be described as "freaking out". If you are honest, did you maybe fly off the handle a little bit?

I don't think there's anything wrong with posting pictures like those. She was going through her high school photos and probably posted the ones she thought looked best. I tried to think about whether I'd be upset if my SO's ex posted pictures from long ago when they dated, and I have to admit, I don't think I would. Anyone who knows your husband knows that he's been married for a long time.

What would it matter even if she had feelings for your husband?

Your husband sounds like a stand-up guy from what you have written. He could easily hide this from you and he chose to be open about it. Honesty and openness shouldn't be punished, or you'll teach someone not to be honest with you anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 10:36am

I really don't think it's a big deal--apparently she was posting these pictures in general and not sending them specifically to him, plus she posted pictures of other friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 11:53pm


Hi. I would look at the context of the photos before getting concerned. If

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 10-18-2011 - 12:37am
Since she also posted other old high school photos of people its not like she singled pictures of him and her out, Personally, I can tell you if he was up to no good he would NOT have showed you the photos she posted. Its when he hides things from you that you have to start worrying.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2003
Tue, 10-18-2011 - 2:00am

Thanks to all who replied. I've been thinking about this a lot today and I came to the conclusion that it's really nothing to worry about.