I am being too sensitive or am I wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2012
I am being too sensitive or am I wrong?
10
Sun, 01-15-2012 - 7:15am

I am not sure where to begin this but I am so lost and don’t know what to do anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 01-15-2012 - 9:55am
You and your husband need a marriage counselor immediately. If he won't go, please go by yourself, because it sounds like things are at a crisis point.

By the way, how old are the two of you, and how long had you been together when you married?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2012
Sun, 01-15-2012 - 10:06am

We are 30.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Sun, 01-15-2012 - 3:44pm

It sounds like you both want something to change. But neither of you are willing to initiate the change.

Given all that you have been dealing with. I would also suggest you speak with your physician about depression and anxiety. I wouldnt say you are over reacting, but it does sound like you have a lot of emtions
overwhelming you.

Honestly one of you is going to have to take the first step if you want to fix the situation. Until the blame game ends, the resentment will continue.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 01-15-2012 - 6:06pm

Since he actually says he's willing to go to therapy, you really need to make the appt. ASAP--nothing is going to change w/o it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2012
Sun, 01-15-2012 - 7:31pm

Thank you all for your replies.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 11:08pm
A belated welcome to the board, Needadvice222 ~ I think the mention of the nap was a suggestion that a depression problem might be a part of this. One of the things that really struck me was that you're telling him what he can and can't do, and he's doing the same to you. hat's not adult and that's not working together. I was really glad to hear that he's willing to seek counseling and I'm really glad you've already put in the call. Be sure the therapist is licensed to work with couples, it's very important. Don't feel like a faiure for seeking help, getting help shows that you're wise and willing to take appropriate steps to really resolve your problems. You've had so much go on since you married, it's not surprising you'd be suffering some affects. You likely just Need to both deal with your individual issues from all these events and learn to support each other and work together. Let us know how it goes!

~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2012
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 7:21pm

Thank you 2nd life.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 10:28pm
I agree that you're heading in the right direction. I think you'll find that counseling will give you tools that will help your relationship from now on. Best of luck!

~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2011
Sun, 01-22-2012 - 10:13pm

Yelling at hubby telling him to spend more time with your child isn't going to make him listen. When you yell at him he takes the offensive, and then won't do it. Talk to him when you are both in a better mood in a calm manner.

The thing about blaming you for everything is a self confidence problem I think. The other thing about not helping out is laziness. He gets to take a nap?

You need to stress to him that just because grandma is there doesn't mean he can lax on his responsabilities to your child and your house chores. You and hubby work, and so goes grandma. You also need to tell him you need a break. If things do not change, you both need a marriage counselor. If he doesn't listen, then take grandma and the kids on a vacation somewhere, and leave him behind for a week and see if he feel neglected. If not, then you're in trouble. He should miss you and the kids after a week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 02-15-2012 - 11:12am

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