I am going to try harder

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
I am going to try harder
13
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 5:02pm

This is kind of a journal entry for me, but welcome any feedback.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Sun, 01-23-2011 - 1:36pm
That's so nice that you are willing to compromise and understand him. I know someone with ADD and learned that they DO NOT respond well to criticism. They are already beating themselves up in their head because of the organizational issues so when someone points it out they get defensive. They respond better to making a game out of things and a "buddy" system. For instance, a game like, each take a task and the first one finished wins and the one who loses has to do something special for the other. And don't kid yourself, a person with ADD can out do anyone when they are in "hyper-focus"; they become perfectionist and do it right. It's the truth.

There are some good books out their on being in a relationship with someone who has ADD. They are actually extremely intelligent and loving, but just process things differently. If you can understand that then you will get back from them what you give in gold. It's true. Have faith. :)
Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Sun, 01-23-2011 - 10:12pm

Welcome to the board, Slynn777 (your name sounds familiar but I don't find any previous posts) ~

Has your boyfriend been diagnosed with ADD or is this your assumption based on your observances? Is he on ADD medication?


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Mon, 01-24-2011 - 3:49pm

Thanks for your responses.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 12:10am

So why isn't he going to counseling?


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 12:28pm

He sounds like a sweet man and you both sound like you care a lot about each other and that is great.

"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Sat, 01-29-2011 - 9:52pm

Hi 2nd life

He won't go to counseling.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Sun, 01-30-2011 - 2:53am

Anti-depressants and Xanax?


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Mon, 01-31-2011 - 4:32pm

Hi

Yes that was a little sarcasm.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 2:20am

I've been struggling with how to format my reply, lots is swimming around in my head and I'm not sure how to start.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 4:03am
"Giving meds without the help that needs to go along with them only masks symptoms, it does nothign to resolve the problem, and until/unless you resolve the problem you will continue to need the meds."

This is absolutely not true. There is not always an underlying "problem." Many people just have a chemical imbalance and medication is the only treatment that works. It's not that difficult for a doctor to figure out which is the case based on history, especially if he's ever gotten help for it in the past. We don't know at all based on what she's said.

I don't need therapy at all, but I will be on medication the rest of my life because it's a chemical disorder. It cannot be "fixed" with talk therapy. Since I know what I need and what works I have even gotten scripts from my OB GYN before to save me a co pay. Unless you are a psychiatrist you should not be giving medical advice.

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