I can't decide if I'm being childish
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| Thu, 12-14-2006 - 1:21pm |
OK I just can't decide if this is something that I should just let go....
Here it is. My husband had decided a long time ago that he wanted a tattoo. He went back and forth and finally found a design he liked. It is largely made up of the Harley Davidson logo but worked into it was our two boys names, their dates of birth and my name and birthday. He gave the initial design to his brother (a graphic artist) and asked him to work with it and make it "nicer" as my husband is not very artistic. He spoke to a local tattoo guy about the design. The guy flat out told him "putting your wife's name on it is the kiss of death, don't do it blah blah"...My husband told me that his response to him was "my wife and I have been together for so long, neither of us are going anywhere and I have no problem with it". It made me so happy to hear him say it and be part of this tattoo that he really searched a long time for the right design. His brother tells him the same thing about having me on it. Long story short, apparently, my husband began listening to them and began hedging me when I asked to see the final design. you know where this is going. I'm out. He told me when I expressed how much it bothered me that A. I was taken right out of it and B. that he would let others influence him that the M in the design was for me...it's totally not true...the M is our last name too...and he is not being truthful.
I just feel like I don't matter. Maybe I'd be ok if it was HE that decided that he just wanted the boys names in it but it's not, he let some guy he doesn't know and his brother decide to do something that has turned out to be really hurtful to me. Now when he gets it (it's not going to be done until next week) he will be totally miffed if I don't do the tattoo happy dance when he shows it to me.
What do you all think?
Thanks,
Mel

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You're all right....I still feel a bit "left out" but not to the extent I did before. I guess I felt like a total stranger (the tattoo artist) was changing DH's mind not knowing us at all. But he does do it every day so I guess he gets to voice his opinion. As far as my brother in law? Kind of miffed there. He does know me and he knows we are together for the long haul. Just because he's been divorced twice and is on his way to a third doesn't give him the right to assume our marriage is going to go south....
I mentioned some other stuff to be put into the tattoo that DH was receptive to and that made me feel better. In the end, there are times when I do feel like my opinion doesn't matter (this being just one example) and that is a much bigger issue than the ink, I'm fully aware. I have found a continuous thread with our marriage that goes something like this: Something comes up that DH wants to do or whatever, we discuss and I am not in agreement with him, he does what he wants, I am left to "get over it"...Some of these issues were big (getting our 4yo son a dirt bike when we had agreed he was too young) some were small (tattoo is the most recent example)...and that is probably worth more time than the ink.
Thanks all! I really do feel better about this as I knew I would when I came in here!
Mel
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