I don't know what to do anymore...
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| Thu, 03-09-2006 - 10:54am |
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half. I love him very very much. We live together in a house and he is a wonderful person and we get along great. When we first started dating, he wanted to wait to have sex. It was a little frustrating...he waited two months. I thought it would never happen, but it did.
However, over a year and a half has passed and I have never seen his penis, nor has he let me touch it or give him oral sex. We do have good sex with orgasms. He has no problem with erection or ejaculation. Lately we have sex about once a week (for me I would like it to be more).
My main concern is that I have tried to figure out if anything is wrong with him down there. I'm so not judgemental, I told him if there was anything wrong, we could work it out. I've offered to go to a therapist with him. He doesn't want. Whenever I try touching him down there, he wont' let me and I persist and ask him a million questions as to why. I've even told him that we are not going to marry or have a baby until this is resolved. He keeps telling me it will be resolved soon. I have been very patient, I think, but now I think it is going to affect our future. I dont' know what to do or what the problem is here. Also, he tells me that I am pressuring him when I ask him all these questions. So it makes me feel like it's my fault.
I know our sex life could be so much more intimate if he would let me see him naked. I'd love to take showers with him. He still locks the door when he's in the shower. I'm so upset about all this.

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Geo,
Sorry, I didn't mean to say it wasn't a big deal at all. Anything that interferes with a relationship is a big deal. I just meant that there might not be an issue like past abuse, or some such, that would lead to this.
I'm not too coherent. I apologize. It's what I get for posting under the influence of a monster cold, lol.
Jen
Oh my goodness, Jen, I'm so sorry to hear that you're sick! Is it just you, or the whole family?
Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Geo,
It's the whole family. WOOHOO! We have 2 who aren't sick right now (one is better and the other one hasn't gotten sick yet.) So it's fun at Jen's house! WooHoo!
Jen
Sandra, do I understand correctly that he's not even told you what this problem concerns? I mean, I know basically what it concerns, and I understand from your posts that he says his genitalia is normal, but he's not told you what specifically the issue is? If he can't even tell you what the issue is about how can you expect it to be resolved? And if he can't even tell you what it's about, how can you think he's even remotely close to working on it?
The issue is only his to work through and I don't see that he's giving any indication that he's made any movement there. You've already been with him for 18 months, how much longer are you willing to stay and wait for him to do something? Another way of looking at it would be if he never made any change, how long would you consider is reasonable to stay before you'd feel you were wasting time? I'm not sure that makes sense, I know how to think it, but not how to say it *sigh*.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Hello Sandra,
Just following up with you to see how your trip went.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
In a year and a half, you've never been able to peek down there while he's sleeping? Or "accidentally" step into the bathroom while he's showering?
Something's really wrong here, and I disagree with the last poster that felt it's being made too big a deal. Personally, I would have been gone long ago.
zz
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