I Don't Want To Go To The Beach, He Does

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I Don't Want To Go To The Beach, He Does
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 3:22am
My husband's brother invited us to go along with his family to Panama City next week. I have always hated the beach and the heat, but even more now since I have been battling a weight problem due to thyroid disorder. My wardrobe (seriously) consists of two pairs of jeans, several t-shirts, a few pairs of capri pants, a few nicer shirts, a pair of sandals and a pair of tennis shoes so basically even if I wanted to go, I don't have any clothes and refuse to ever wear shorts because my legs look pretty bad and I don't want my husband and son to ever be embarrassed when people stare. Bottom line is that I don't want to go to the beach, but I don't want to spoil it for my husband and son and told him I honestly wouldn't mind if just they go and I'll stay home. He refuses to do that and I feel terrible about what I have caused. Ideas and advice are needed here!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 6:39am
If this is just a day trip, they should go without you. On the other hand, if they're staying over, there is no reason why you shouldn't join them. Just don't go out to the water. You can either stay back at the room, or go shopping, or bring/buy a beach chair and umbrella, and sit on the beach in your capris and read a book. You can be in charge of setting up the picnic lunch, too.

The longer-term fix is for you to get some help dealing with your feelings about your looks. The unhealthy thing to do is let those feelings interfere with your enjoyment of your life. A therapist might be able to help. If your thyroid condition is causing your weight problem, and there is no way for you to reduce, then you need to get yourself to a place where YOU accept that, and no longer care what other people think. Of course, if there IS something you can do about your weight, then DO IT. But either way, you can't hide in your clothes forever, and you shouldn't.

By the way: Nobody but you cares about how you look. The folks on the beach don't know you, and even if a few of them "notice" that you are overweight, so what? And your husband and son love you. Why would they be embarrassed? Would it embarrass them if you were missing a limb? Confined to a wheelchair? Were bald from chemo-therapy? It certainly would not! And they are NOT embarrassed to be seen with you, no matter how you THINK you look!


Lee M.