I know you're out there....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I know you're out there....
25
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 5:46am

...I can hear you breathing!


Besides, the number of "hits" (views) the posts are getting tells me you're out there, so how come I feel so alone???? Do I need new deodorant??? Breath mints??? I swear I shower every day!


Who are you??? Where are you??? C'mon guys, these members deserve more input than they're getting -- how can they get the points of view of many if "many" are just reading and not offering their thought? Not that lurking isn't okay too, but it's nicer if I don't feel like I'm in an empty room, they're kinda echo-y and it gets lonely, you know? ;o)


How about all you lurkers and passers-by let me know you're out there by posting to this thread? A little conversation and idle chit-chat is a good thing!





~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:

Crisis Center: Rape and Suicide








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2005
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 8:45pm

Hi...I lurk a little, and post questions sometimes. I actually think I'm way too angry at men right now to offer any productive advice (all I want to say is that men are disgusting), but I think I am learning a lot as I go through what seems like endless crap. So, maybe sometime soon I'll be in a better mindset and better able to offer an unbiased perspective.

Anyway, hi!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 9:44pm

I think that a conservative opinion is important. For that matter, all different opinions have merit :-)

I'm one of the more....shall we say...'aggressive' posters on the relationships channel. However, a conservative opinion balances the aggressive stance nicely.

Not everyone grabs issues by the horns like I - and for this reason, my advice certainly won't suit everyone. That's why we need a variety of strategies.

Don't under estimate your advice.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 12:40am

Aisha, I know where to find you ;-) I'm always glad to see you around, you bring a great perspective that I often miss, and sometimes don't agree with, and that's what makes the boards so great.


I know I owe you one and I'm trying to get there, but it might take a bit longer.





~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:

Crisis Center: Rape and Suicide



Edited 9/1/2005 1:38 am ET ET by cl-2nd_life








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 1:13am

Geo, I have always loved your posts and have great respect for them. For the record, you have never talked too much.


It's great to know this is one of your favorite boards, I hope I see you around here more often!





~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:

Crisis Center: Rape and Suicide








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 1:28am

Jen, once again Aisha has said basically what I was going to say. Yeah, your perspective is different than mine, but mine is different than yours too, you know? Who's to say which is right and which is wrong? The truth is, I think, that there isn't one right or one wrong in any given situation, the right answer is based on the personality of the individual, and whose to say that individual isn't more in tune to a conservative approach.


While I may disagree with you (and you with me), that doesn't mean your thoughts and views aren't welcomed and appreciated. Where I come from a little back and forth dialog to explain points of view is welcomed and expected. Reading differing points of views and having conversations about them with board members has given me a lot of insight I didn't have before and on many occasions has completely changed my thoughts on an issue or subject. Without experiencing differences there is no growth.


If I've made you feel unwelcome or stepped on your toes, I apologize, know it wasn't my intent. And if I get out of line, just elbow me :-)





~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:

Crisis Center: Rape and Suicide








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 1:36am

Lol, Ismileimfine. I know what you mean, sometimes your whole attitude about the male sex is lousy. And I'm sure the same is true in reverse.


For me, it seems like most of my *real* learning in situations is done after the fact. Looking back on situations allows such clarity that I just don't have while in the midst of it. I have to say that over the last several years I've been better able to learn during or very shortly after the situation. I don't know if I'm getting better about clueing in or if it's easier because I go into it with the knowledge experience has given me.


It sounds like things may not be going so well for you right now? Know you can vent here anytime. Be good to yourself and keep your head straight, you're in confusing territory.


P.S. I'm glad to see you here, I've been wondering how you're doing.





~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:

Crisis Center: Rape and Suicide








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 11:29am

I've been absent because DBF is in the throes of writing the marketing plan for that enterprise with that woman I have issue with... he's on it from the time he gets home from work til late at night... I'm lucky if I get an hour on the computer--and the rub is: it's MY computer.

Also, he starts whining if I spend more than 45 minutes on it... even if I'm on it learning one of the graphic programs needed to help him with his marketing projects. He says he's a 'sociable' person and can't understand how I can focus on the computer for long stretches of time and not come keep him company. Now, mind you, I'm in the room by myself watching '500 channels and nothing is on' for 8-10 hours DAILY because he's in here focused on researching marketing information and writing the plan (and not keeping me company), but that's neither here nor there because what he is doing is important. Anything that I do is unimportant--I dare not tell him that I'm on iVillage "saving the world". Even if I want to go to jigzone and do jigsaw puzzles--which help me to think--, I could have been in the tv room with him, watching him sleep in front of the tv. That's a little faceteous, but it seems like that is the case.

So, to keep the peace, I try to get on my computer as early in the day as I can because once he's home, he'll start fussing about needing to get on it to do some writing and I'd rather avoid any unnecessary bs.

btw--it seems that his opinion of his 'friend' has done a complete 180... I never thought I'd live to see the day where he felt walking away from their friendship was the best thing he could do for himself, but it seems she's acted an a$$ with 3 other people he's brought in on the project. Why, pigs were lined up down the street flapping their wings getting ready to take off just the other day. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 11:30am
Why thank you! I love reading your responses, too--you're very insightful and right on point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 1:20pm

Don't worry about offending me, I'm one of those people who doesn't take things too personally. :) And I haven't had my toes stepped on or anything. Sometimes it's hard to read posts where the poster obviously has different values or morals and I think they are dead wrong, and if I start to feel that way then I usually pull back for awhile. I understand that everyone has a different way of thinking and being and I don't think my way is less valid. It's just not as prevalent nowadays as it used to be. But if I feel strongly about something, you couldn't keep me quiet if you tried. ;)

Jen

P.S. And I'll keep the elbowing thing in mind....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 5:14pm

Hi 2nd_life -- I'm always lurking around here but you're right, I've not posted much.

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