I need advice please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
I need advice please!
19
Tue, 10-17-2006 - 4:18pm
I found out today that I am three four weeks pregnant. I am 20 years old and NOT ready to care for a child. (I can barely make time for my dog!) I am in a strong, healthy, happy relationship. I love the man I am with, but here is my problem. He does not believe in terminating a pregnancy for any reason. I haven't told him yet, because if I do he WILL expect me to keep it. I am not emotionally ready for this responsibility. Finically I am in debt currently working to get out of it. I have a small sports car and would have to get rid of it (for obvious reason if I had a child) and cannot afford to do that either. I don't even have health insurance! In the next 6 months the both us will receive promotions in our company and and will be working 6 days out of the week, maybe 7 days depending on how much work needs to be done. Just the other day he was telling me how for once in years his life is finally on track. He has a great job, a great relationship and life is where he wants it. I know I want to be with him and in the future marry him, but I don't want this to change the relationship and make him feel like had had to be with me because I'm am having his child. This is just never the way I wanted to start a relationship. I just don't know what to do!?! I haven't told any friends, I just need some advice from you ladies.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2005
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 3:54pm

Call your department of social services / welfare / medicaid and get signed up for medical care. Sometimes it's county health department, or department of human services.

I'm almost certain that you'll qualify since you're PG with no medical insurance.

You're going to be fine when it's all said and done. We're here for you.

:)

Jenn

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 4:02pm

Hey Nikki,


Honesty with yourself first and foremost is going to be the best thing for you going forward.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 4:54pm

2nd (or is it 3rd'ing?) the 2 PPs, you should qualify for Medicaid that will cover the pregnancy and your baby for the 1st year. You can call the people that have been suggested, you can call a drs office and find out who to talk with, or you can Google your state and medicaid and see what it tells you.

Jen



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 5:44pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 6:39pm

I have to say, I do NOT advocate drastically changing your diet immeadiately after birth. Especially going to a vegetarian diet unless you KNOW how to eat balanced and healthy vegetarian wise. Not only that but there are numerous fruits and veggies that give gas and switching like that can severely loosen stools (which is NOT fun immeadiately after birth.)

I didn't have a problem eating my normal foods. But if you think you might want to change eating habits, start altering them slightly now and become educated to make sure you are eating the right amounts of the proper nutrients.

Jen



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 10:41am

if it doesn't appeal to you, then that's you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 11:39am
To the original poster,

Talk to an obgyn and follow their advice. Or get the "What to Expect when You're Expecting" and follow the diet listed in it. You'll do just fine! None of us knew what we were doing at the beginning, we all learn as we go along.



Jen






Edited 10/20/2006 12:21 pm ET by imasillynut
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 12:55am
The "where to/how to get medical coverage" question has already been well answered, but I wanted to wish you the best, Nikki. The decision that feels right is the one that's right for you.







~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2006
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 9:14am
I am sorry that you have found yourself in this situation. A similar thing happened to someone I know. You are young and you have your life laid out ahead of you and you don't want to deal with this "interruption". But this someone I know was my own mother. She was pregnant and wasn't ready at all and had so much ahead of her. She obviously decided to keep me and although she had to make a sacrifice, I'm glad she did. I've talked with her about it, what she thinks things would have been like if she didn't have me. We have a close open relationship and she said she did consider termination at one point but knew she couldn't live with that decision and that it would haunt her. Her life wasn't easy (she later divorced my father) and was a single mom. I know that sounds scary, but she has no regrets. She feels all of these experiences has made her into the strong person she is today. And I know I love her for that. She took responsibilty for her actions, if it wasn't for that I wouldn't be here today.

Pages