I need some help
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I need some help
| Tue, 05-23-2006 - 5:03am |
I just started a new relationship we are about 2munths into it and I'm having a problem that keeps running through my head. So I hope it is ok for me being a man and asking for some help on this message board. But here is my problem. The girl I just have been dating is bisexual. I have never dated a bisexual woman before. I told her that I didn’t have any problem with as long as she understood that well I’m dating her that she can not be with any body else, man or woman and she said that she was ok with it.
But she just moved in with two of her best friends and she as been sharing a bed with one of them. I asked her about it and she said that she was only doing because she had not got her bed moved in so she is sharing with her friend that is bisexual. I didn’t think much of it at first but it has been about 3weeks now and she has not gotten her bed moved in yet. So I asked her if there was something going on between them and I said that if there was I did not want to be in the way. She said know they have done anything together since last summer except for making out.
Then just tonight I took her home then her and her friend said that I should live because they had to go to bed and get up early. Then her friend sat there and waited for us say goodbye. There is something that rubs me the wrong way about that. Is it just me or do you think she could be lying to me? I have fillings for this girl, but every time I talk to her, I ask her about it and I fill I’m pushing the subject. What should I do?
But she just moved in with two of her best friends and she as been sharing a bed with one of them. I asked her about it and she said that she was only doing because she had not got her bed moved in so she is sharing with her friend that is bisexual. I didn’t think much of it at first but it has been about 3weeks now and she has not gotten her bed moved in yet. So I asked her if there was something going on between them and I said that if there was I did not want to be in the way. She said know they have done anything together since last summer except for making out.
Then just tonight I took her home then her and her friend said that I should live because they had to go to bed and get up early. Then her friend sat there and waited for us say goodbye. There is something that rubs me the wrong way about that. Is it just me or do you think she could be lying to me? I have fillings for this girl, but every time I talk to her, I ask her about it and I fill I’m pushing the subject. What should I do?

She is admittedly bisexual. By definition you can not give her what she wants at a very very basic level. This problem is not going to go away even if she decides to supress it for awhile for your sake.
My advice, find someone that wants what you want.
Good luck, P.
Welcome to the board, Man_25 ~ men are just as welcome here as women.
Obviously, bisexuals are just as capable of being faithful as anyone else, but I'd have some problems with this too. Would you be okay with a heterosexual girlfriend sleeping with a guy friend for weeks? This isn't any different. What she's asking you to trust her on is just as concerning. I wonder how she'd feel if you were "just sharing a bed" with a female friend for three weeks? And frankly, whether she'd think it was okay or not wouldn't make it okay in my book.
I agree with your misgivings for other reasons too. She says she and this friend haven't done anything but make out since last summer? Since when is "just making out" okay? Would it be okay for you to "just make out" with a female friend, or would you be okay with a heterosexual girlfriend "just making out" with a guy she used to be sexual with (and still lives with)? One more important clue. Your girlfriend may be "just friends", but her "friend" is showing some pretty strong signs of possessiveness. Waiting up, telling you to go so they can "go to bed"? Why is she hovering around, ushering your girlfriend off to bed? Why doesn't she just go to bed herself and let your girlfriend go to bed when she's ready? And here again, would it be an okay situation if your girlfriend were hetero and her "friend" was male? The whole scenario doesn't read like an innocent or acceptable situation. I vote you move on, too much doesn't add up.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
totally agree.