I need you ladies infinite wisdom

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
I need you ladies infinite wisdom
27
Tue, 05-31-2011 - 2:11pm

Hello everyone. I need imput.

I am 44 years old, never married but I've had a good handful of love relationships in my life that I am grateful for and in my twenties I lived with two individuals.

Soliel

Pages

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 3:04am

I'm curious on what you decided?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2006
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 2:17am
If it's a relief to go back to your own home, moving in is a bad, bad idea.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2011
Sat, 06-04-2011 - 1:28pm

In all honesty, it sounds like your scared to move in with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 12:14am

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 11:28pm

Hi Iv2.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 4:10pm

Hi,

You mentioned that vegetarian eating and cooking is important to you and it is hard to find a guy who is into that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 11:19am

I don't think you should give him a pass because that's how "most men" are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 10:06am

The way you describe him, he sounds like a very good friend, but not a good partner who will offer you harmony at home. As 2nd_life says, this relationship was great for the period when you'd expect any relationship with any chemistry whatsoever to be great (the first few months) but it's not turning out to be the relatioship that you wanted.

When people hold on for reasons like the ones you gave... Companionship, friendship, support, etc.... While at first they seem like good reasons they all point to one word: Attachment.

I think you are attached to the comfort and dynamic of the relationship you have, even if it doesn't really make you happy. This is the kind of relationship that, I believe, feels "comfortable" when it's at its best. That doesn't mean it's bad, it just means you can't really expect a high degree of happiness or compatibility. You know what you're getting, after this long,

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 1:17am


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 12:39am
2nd life...the reason is because he still keeps loneliness at bay, still can be a good companion, is still a friend to me and we have a lot of shared memories and history by now. Also, he is very noble, very intelligent, very supportive, has accepted me in deep ways that is very important to me, generous financially (when we go out), is veg (not easy to find), knows how to cook and makes very healthy meals (which is important to me), has an interesting mind that made me fall in love with him, is actually very sweet and sensitive and I trust him with finances. Oh, and I trust him emotionally, too and I know he loves me.
So there is a lot of good still...
Soliel

Pages