I want a space of my own.
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| Sat, 02-25-2006 - 2:04pm |
I have no Sanctuary in my own house. Sure I can go get into my car, the only place that I have complete control. But to find a sanctuary in my house has been impossible.
I have two kids ( a preteen boy and a teenage daughter) and DH. These people have over taken all areas of the house. Let's start at the front door. You enter and there to your right my DS controls the first half of the living room with his gaming computer. Move further into the living room where my DD controls the sitting area with various music videos, hair style magazines and any hobby she is into for the week.
Then we can enter the dining area, where you would think there would only be the dining table and a couple of chairs, but no my husband has put his exercise bike by the window ( the only window in the room. The table contains Connect-Four, Stratego, and Chess games of my DS. Then you look over to the wet-bar where my DH stores all his junk mail. This area remains untidy because any time I toss anything out it is suddenly very important to him. Although it has sat there for a whopping two months, untouched.
Then we move to the kitchen. You would think surely this is the womans playground - NOT. I like clean, uncluttered counters but not the rest of the family who always come behind me and clutter them up. The breakfast table is always cluttered with my DH's newspaper from the day or two before (I can't toss them for fear of him saying he was still reading it).
Then we go to the laundry room. Who needs a laundry room, my DH. He never puts his uniforms in the closet (I've tried with no success in keeping them their) and my DS fails to comprehend what dresser drawers are for so his socks, and underwear remain in the washroom until he's ready to wear them.
Then their is the lovely master bathroom. I don't like for visitors to see what products I use for my daily ritual but my husband doesn't care and that is why he has up to 10 to 15 items on the counter daily.
Then we move into the master bedroom where my DH rules again. The computer area is surrounded by unused discs of all sorts, cables, empty software boxes and so on... I can't throw anything out for fear that he was keeping something. Under the bed and the closet is just as bad. All things that haven't been used in years, yet he doesn't toss anything out.
There is also a second floor to our home. The children each have their rooms (Junk Piles) and my DH pretty much rules the Study and the attached closets - yes there are two closets and his stuff occuppies both.
I thought the garage was going to finally be mine. But alas, no. My DH's failed candle business occuppies a full wall and his unused tools the other. DH also bought a large home gym and weights that take up the entire middle of the floor. I wonder if he will use them more than four times. I seriously doubt it, he had a gym membership for two years and he only went twice in the two years.
So where is my one peaceful spot? My car and the left side of the bed. These are the only areas that I have complete control and that just isn't going to work for me any longer. I'm not going to take it any longer.

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Iam1nell, it dawns on me that I was making an assumption that I had not business making. Here I was thinking you wanted a cleaner environment along with space of your own. I guess my mind went there because you mentioned clutter and disarray several times in your post, but, in fact, you never said you wanted that to change or were looking for ways to resolve that, only that you wanted a space of your own. That is the premise of several of the questions I asked, and I apologize for that. I'm still interested in the questions I asked that pertained to the space issue though. Hope you'll let me know.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
What I would suggest is to take all the stuff that you are afraid to throw out and move it somewhere so it's in your husbands way unless he takes care of it.
An example:
When there is something of my husbands and I don't know what to do with it, I put it on his computer desk. Sometimes it will become a pretty big pile before he takes care of it but at least it's not scattered throughout the house. He'll do the same, if there is something of mine & he doesn't know what to do with it then he'll put it on my computer desk.
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