To ignore?
Find a Conversation
To ignore?
| Sun, 08-13-2006 - 10:32am |
Ok ladies, I have a question for you. I am dating a very beautiful, well endowed lady. Things are great but there is a small problem(at least on my behalf). Whenever we go somewhere from the mall to walking down the street there are always stares and comments from men. This bugs the hell out of me and more often than not I want to just say something to them. In my eyes they are disrespecting her which REALLy pisses me off but she says she has heard all that all her life and she just ignores it and to acknowledge them is just waht they want. I would like to know how some of you handle it when everywhere you go you get comments and such and am I out of line.
Thanks
Junkie

Pages
If SHE wants to ignore them, then just ignore them with her. If there is some particularly obnoxious guy who won't stop, then I would simply say something like, "That's really disrespectful." or "Would you like to think of someone talking to your sister that way?"
Honestly, the best way to honor her is to not leer at women (not saying you do, please don't assume that's what I meant) even when you aren't with her, and stop your guy friends from making cracks about women by telling them it's really disrespectful, etc.
And kudos to you for realizing it is disrespectful.
Jen
Just trying to imagine the alternative to ignoring it.....I hope you are a martial arts expert...walking down the street in the face of every guy that looks at a beautiful women when she passes....she is gonna get tired of watching you get in street fights EVERYWHERE you go ALL THE TIME.
Ignore it, unless they are verbally disrespectful. P.
From what you write, she seems perfectly happy and sees no reason to change. You say that you've discussed it many times.....bearing this in mind, why are you persisting in raising the subject again and again?
For the record, when a guy takes a hungry look at me, I'm flattered. And I'm sure not going to scowl at him. Well, actually, I should be writing this in the past tense. I'm pushing 40 with two kids now and the looks don't happen anymore LOL. Tell her to enjoy it while it lasts!
If you can deal with her being a nice person and strangers looking at her, good for you. But if you don't like it, move on.
At the end of the day, it's not fair to try and make her less of a person than she is.
As far as responding to comments goes, I'm with Orangecuse, it's best to not respond.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
It makes me think the guys who say the comments have no brains, personality, or intellect, if they think it's okay to say mean and disrespecting things to women. Though there would be a small side of me that would be flattered too.
Jen
I am also dating a rather attractive woman that also draws stares and appreciative glances from other men when we are out. This is not a bad thing. I am secure enough in myself that I actually am proud to be with this very special lady and I am truly honored to have her by my side. Keep in mind that she chose to be with you and not someone else and pay more attention to that fact than that other men find her beautiful. You need to seriously look at your own jealousy and what that says about you and your own confidence. Focus your mind on what the two of you share between you and if nothing else, when you see another man admiring your woman, think to yourself "Yeah buddy, she is very good looking and guess who she's going home with! Dream on my friend."
It is also a very different situation when other men pay attention to your woman and she responds to it by flirting with them. If that was the case, then you truly have a problem between you and the one you are with. But if that's not the case then get over your jealousy and keep your thoughts where they should be -- on her. And one more thing just as a word of warning, if you don't find a way to deal with your jealous nature and find ways to reinforce your own confidence, you may not have this relationship for very long. Always consider what life would be like if she wasn't with you and when you realize how much you'd miss her, then make sure you remind her every chance you get how much you appreciate her and how wonderful you think she is. If you treat her with respect and appreciation and sensitivity, you'll be a very happy man in the end.
Best of luck to you.
My fiance is very very attractive and I see guys check her out all the time. As long as they are only looking my reaction is to ignore them....guys look, some just do it more disceetly then others. If they leer I chalk it up to a personality flaw in them (lack of class). I don't get defensive (defend her) or angry (mad at them) cause I am secure in my relationship....he can't have what I have so I don't waste energy on him.
Thanks, P.
Pages