issue with moving/settling down
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|Sun, 01-10-2010 - 12:12am|
I am having an issue with my boyfriend and would like any advice I can get! I have been with him for four years and it has, overall, been a great relationship. We met and dated all the way through college and now I am in my first year of medical school while he is finishing up a semester at college. So right now, we are living apart but usually see each other on weekends. We talk opening about getting engaged in a year or so and marrying soon after that. Everything is good at this point...but I'm very concerned about our future.
Since I am in medical school, I will be assigned rotations by my school during 3rd and 4th year. More than likely, these will be near my school but could basically be anywhere in the state (FL). After that, of course, I will be doing a minimum of 3 years residency...again, I don't know where this will take me. So the issue is that before I went off to school, my boyfriend was extremely supportive about the move and said he would "go anywhere I needed to go" during rotations and residency. Of course the moving will make it more difficult for him to have a steady job, but he still insisted he would do whatever he had to to keep us together, particularly because I would be making more money and so my job location would take priority to his. I even told him plainly "IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO GO, I WON'T GO. I CAN GO TO P.A. SCHOOL INSTEAD" and he, again, assured me I should go.
But now he seems to be growing very agitated about the whole moving/living situation and says I am using my school as an excuse to keep him away from his family in Kentucky (his home state). To be clear, I have no problem with his family but I don't want to live in Kentucky...not now, not ever (although I'm sure it's a fine place :) ) I have told him this for years. It has never seemed to bother him until conversations about living arrangements have come up more recently (as he will soon be graduating and probably moving in with me). He even mentioned applying for a job in Kentucky after graduation....ummm HELLO I'm stuck in school in Florida and will be for at least a few more years. It really hurts me that he would even MENTION doing something like that now. I just don't get it. Shouldn't he love me enough to want to stay with me whereever I am? After all, he did move here for college!
So to those of your with more relationship experience, how does this all work out? How do couples from different states work it out when they talk about settling down? Everything seems so good between us, but I feel like this could actually tear us apart.
Sorry for the long rant....just really frustrated!