is it worth trying???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2009
is it worth trying???
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 12:06am

I do not know where to turn and I am at the end of my rope. Quick background, HB and I have know each other for over 20yrs, been married for almost 13, have 8 year old son. Separated once 2 years ago for 1 yr, worked things out and got back tog (those were money issues which have long been fixed). Now here I am again in the unhappy place. HB says not enough sex and attention. Mind you he is a truck driver and when he is home we have sex 2 out of 3 nights but he says they are just quickies and don't count. I also work 2 jobs, take care of our son, the house and help with the trucking company! He drives a truck, works on the truck and sleeps. Now after many conversations I have admitted I'm not the most touchy feely person but have been willing to work on improving some other areas..More dress up..And such...Fast forward...I tried to plan a nice date this past weekend and asked to go out for drinks..My bday is in 2 weeks so I thought we could use it as an excuse to go out and have fun...well he wanted to stay home, didn't know why his company want enough for me, why I should go out and get what I wanted. He said he didn't get what he wanted for his bday back in December (I think I was sick or our child was). That made him mad for me to get my why..After 7 hours of a text argument....while I am at work and the docs office because I am sick...and he was mad cause I got sick and it might ruin his chances for sex. Still as of today hasn't asked me how I am feeling. Said this weekend he didn't notice I was coughing. Needless to say there was no date, no sex no anything and the fight continues. Asked him to go to therapy today and he refused said it was a waste of money..Says I should be able to talk to him...I have tried and it always gets thrown back in my face about something I didn't do in the past. I am totally dumbfounded....I tried to plan a weekend to give him a great night of sex like he had been wanting and all that happened because I wanted to go out.....we used to go out all the time until his work took him out of town then its been one excuse after the other for almost

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 12:25am

Welcome to the board, Danette62602 ~

I'm wondering here..... you say your separation was all about money, yet you say he's selfish, doesn't help and expects the kind of sex he expects when he wants it.

~ cl-2nd_life

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 2:53am

I understand this.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 9:32pm

Generally in studies most couples who work through their problems and stay together are happy with that choice.

"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink