I've made a psoitive step forward....
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I've made a psoitive step forward....
| Sat, 03-04-2006 - 11:23am |
First thank you so much to everyone who responded to my other posts. I made the decison to NOT meet with XBF next week and I'm sticking to it. I've also made an appointment with a therapsit for Monday. I'm little nervous, but excited as well. I'm looking forward to a light at the end of the tunnel.
Just doing those two things have lifted a great weight off my shoulders.
Thank you everyone again and I'll keep you all posted on my progress.

Luv2004, I'm so glad you've made these two decisions. They're both smart, strong, positive decisions for you, I think; and I know just what you mean about the weight being lifted due to these decisions, it's so much of a relief to have made a decision rather than staying ambivalent and unsure.
I'm not sure I'm going to explain this very well, it's one of those things I know what I mean but think it better than I can say it, but.... as far as you feeling funny for the amount of pain you feel in this (you made a reference comparing the hurt you feel in this to your husband's death) I'm not at all saying you don't have every reason to be extremely hurt here, you do! But I would expect that some of what you feel may not be from this relationship but a revisitation of the pain you felt at your husband's death. I would expect this experience brought up some of the "abandonment" you felt at his death. I hope I'm making sense here, I'm not sure I am.
I'm sorry you've had this experience, you certainly don't deserve it. I think dealing with this in counseling is a smart move, it'll allow you to leave the baggage behind BEFORE it becomes firmly attached to you.
Huge hugs, Luv2004 ~
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Luv2004's previous posts can be found here:
Can't let goOW update
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Thank you 2nd life,
I had thought that there may be some connection to what I'm feeling and my husband's death, even though he died 3 years ago. I hadn't considered abandonment.
FYI...I had a very hard time following my husband's death. But I have always thought that I worked through it successfully. I have no regrets regarding the steps I took to get my life back on track.
When I was with my XBF I used to think could it be possible to be so lucky twice in a lifetime? I mean, what were the odds that I could find that kind of happiness again? To find that one person you're so in synch with that you almost function as one?
Then XBF found "her". In both cases I felt like my life was thrown into a blender. My husband's death was sudden,unexpected. I felt helpless in both cases. There was nothing I could do to change things back to where they were. Back to when things were happy.
I don't know. I do know that in both cases I feel I didn't do anything to warrant having the love of my life "taken" from me. I didn't deserve it. I was a good wife. I was a good GF. Maybe my heart just can't take two hits.
I wouldn't go so far as to say I feel I'm being punished. However, I seem to notice that people that behave badly always get what they want. Take my XBF for example. He cheated on me, lied to me and gets to ride off happily into the sunset with his new girl. I'm left with pain and questions and a giant hole in my heart...and my life.
Thank you again. Your support has meant so much!