Just Married and Upset!! PLEASE HELP
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Just Married and Upset!! PLEASE HELP
| Wed, 06-14-2006 - 9:09am |
This should be the happiest time of my life but instead I am sooo upset. I was just married a week ago in a very lavish ceremony and everything was perfect, or atleast I thought so. After the ceremony and reception we went up to our room soon after that his cell phone rang. It was a girl that he grew up with that I had met on numerous occasions so I didn't think too much of it. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and I guess he thought that I couldn't hear him but I over heard him telling her "by the way you looked good tonight". The thing that ticks me off is he hadn't even told me that I looked good all night but he tells her. Ever since then I have regretted being with him. How should I handle this! This is tearing me apart. I can't even stand to look at him without feeling betrayed.

Hi,
You have to confront him. Tell him what you heard him say and how it hurt you. You have every right to feel angry. If you husband natururally complements people it's one thing it's another thing if he doesn't. See how he reacts. If he reacts in a defensive way, it's bad news. If he understand and you feel his reponse and reaction is genuine he probably was insensitive.
Please come back to the board after you confronted him. I would like to know what his reaction is. You can make much more of descision onced that is done.
I agree with the other poster that you need to talk to your new H about what you overheard. Until you know more, you don't know how concerned to be or quite how to respond. One, who would have their cellphone on and be answering it on their wedding night? Two, why was she calling up to your honeymoon suite when she was at the wedding and reception and probably could figure out that you two would be busy? Three, she wouldn't have known that you would leave the room while he was on the phone. Four, did it sound like he was talking with a normal volume of voice or did he drop it when he said that to her? Five, I don't understand why you didn't rip the door open right then and say, "WTH are you talking about?!?!" :) I would have.
How long did you two date? How old are you? Is he immature or stupid in other areas? Were they ever more than friends?
Jen
It's very understandable that you're upset. If it were me, I would be steaming from the ears. It could be something and it could be nothing and he was just trying to be nice. But there is only so much that you can KNOW from guessing. Tell him what you overheard and how you feel about it. You will know from his reaction, if something is going on. And even if there isn't something going on, didn't this woman know that it was an inappropriate time?
You need to at least talk to him about it before you make rash decisions, or give yourself a coronary. And he needs to let her know that if they are going to remain friends, she needs to know that there are inappropriate times to contact him. And that particular time was inappropriate.
Keep the faith.
Welcome to the board, Slim_tender ~
The statement alone wouldn't necessarily be upsetting to me, it would depend on how the statement was made. Was he simply offering a compliment or was there whispering, suggestiveness or other indications of deeper feelings in his voice? Is he the kind of guy that generally offers compliments to women?
What I'm wondering is, if she was at your wedding, what is she doing calling him when she knows he's on his honeymoon? I agree with the others that you need to have a very serious discussion with him about his involvement and feelings for this woman and I have to say that I would be questioning my decision to marry him also. There's always annulment if it comes to that. Definitely talk to him and let us know what comes of it, okay?
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
This woman has an issue, definitely. The only reason to call a man on his wedding night is to see if he'll choose to talk to her instead of ignoring her because he is with his wife!
It was stupid and insensitive of your hubby to pick up the phone, yes. But that may be all that there is here. You won't know until yo uspeak to him about it.
PLease let us know how that talk goes.
jg