Just told me he quit his job

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Just told me he quit his job
8
Sun, 07-10-2011 - 10:06pm

My BF of six years just told me he quit his job two weeks ago.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Mon, 07-11-2011 - 2:47am

Welcome to the board, Memphisstars2004 ~

You're right, jobs are pretty closely tied to the typical man's sense of masculinity.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Mon, 07-11-2011 - 1:22pm

Thank you very much for your

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 1:51am

I apologize for taking so long to get back to you, Memphisstars2004.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 3:10am
I am 58 and been fired and laid off several times. Each woman that I was seeing knows what happened to me. I would not want to be permanently with anyone who cannot tell me the truth about their life especially if I was seeing him/her for 6 years.

I would agree with your approach on taking care of yourself and leaving him alone.

My partner/girlfriend knew that I was about to get fired and has supported me throughout. It was not always smooth but I view if I want a truly intimate relationship with trust and support then we need to share such stuff. Otherwise it is a distant friendship at best.

Mark
Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 10:40pm

Mhash, it's times like these I wish iVillage had a "like" button like Facebook.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 07-15-2011 - 12:47pm
awww thanks 2nd life! I wonder if memphisst-ars2004 thinks the same way?

Mark
Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Fri, 07-15-2011 - 2:52pm

You certainly gave her something to think about.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 07-19-2011 - 11:43am

I really like mhash's response.

On one hand, you can think about how you *should* react, which is with compassion and patience. On the other hand, you are very resentful and have some justification for it.

I could look at this situation by examining the details... He didn't tell you about a major life change and you are resentful that he will not marry you after what is now a very long relationship... But I think either way, I'd want to help you look at the bigger picture - That this is a relationship that's not progressing, and that your relationship isn't as close as you thought. Certainly he doesn't feel close enough to be honest with you.

I think your instinct to back away and take care of yourself for a while is a good one. It's never a bad idea to take some time out and think about where your own life is going.

I imagine he knows you want marriage, has this been discussed at all?