keeping excitement in relationship
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|Tue, 12-20-2011 - 11:34am|
I have been together with this guy for 1.5 years now and it is usually going well. But I noticed that the excitement on his side is dwindling. We still spend a lot of time happily together, but I get the impression that for him the fun part of is life is happening outside of the relationship. e.g. He likes going out, go dancing, partying and so on and he usually prefers to do these activities with other friends and not with me. Not that he never invites me to join him, but I am also obviously not the first choice when he thinks about having a fun night. When we go to a party he usually gives all his attention to his friends and rarely to me. The fact that his friends are predominately female, attractive and single and that he tolerates or even enjoys their flirtatious behavior doesn't make it easier. (I used to complain abut that but he claims its absolutely normal and I am just intimidated by his attractive friends). He insist that she is having enough fun with me, but I can tell that when he is hanging out with his friends, he really enjoys his time.
I personally think in his mind I am the nice but only average girlfriend, that he is quite comfortable and happy with me, but not excited, and that he likes the extra attention from other girls. And I obviously need to get out of this role, because it starts to bore me and it is potentially dangerous for our relationship. But I really don't know what to do about it. Just trying to add more variety doesn't seem to work. When I try to initiate going out, getting wasted, whatsoever (an opportunity he rarely says no to when it comes form his friends) he regularly doesn't feel like it. Or should I just get used to my role in his life as being the homely girl and personal support and do the same and get my fun/excitement from my friends instead?