key counters on computers
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key counters on computers
| Tue, 05-03-2005 - 6:47am |
Hi all
Ok, so he has been busted with being on chat sites, secret emails and sending pictures to and receiving from another woman. Said he was sorry...etc etc...he made a mistake..the whole can of worms. Instinct and his behaviour (over indulgent in me to a point of almost obsession) led me to check out what i checked out before. Now we both have our own passords on the computer and he has cut off all of the detailed billing etc on his cell phone. He said it was out of respect for me but i am not falling for that one. I believe it is so that there will never be a hard copy of his phone activity. My question is this...does anyone know about these key counters on the computer and how they work?

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My boyfriend once put something like that on the computer, that basically tracks EVERY single word you type, along with websites visited, etc etc. I dont really know what its called, but if you google it (i think its keylogger something) im sure youll find it. There are alot of different ones out there, but some are free to download and use. Basically, once you download it, it wont appear in you programs files, or you your history list, so your bf wont find out its on the computer. The only way to access the program and log in is with a secret combination from your keyboard (such as ctrl+alt+gr+5).
Hope this helps!
For those who may not be familiar with Deanna20052005's situation, you can get up to speed by reading her previous post here:
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Deanna,
Please don't stoop that low.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
Hi Deanna - I feel for you. It's one thing if you are checking up on a teenager using the internet, but a healthy committed relationship should not involve one Adult having to check up on the other just to make sure they are staying "in line". I know - I've been there. I went from a emotionally abusive realtionship where there was all kinds of secretive things going on w/ his use of the internet to my current relationship where we share email/passwords, we share cell phones etc... Everything is out in the open. It was like a breath of fresh air.
Your husband is hiding something - don't be fooled by his excuse of "Out of respect for you", if he has respect than everything should be an open book. You don't need a Key Logger - don't even put yourself through that. Simply tell him to open up all access to his accounts or get the heck out! So sorry to be so blunt but I've been through my fair share of lies and deceptions and I've learned to place boundaries and simply not put up with it EVER! You don't deserve to be treated that way especially after all your years together. Good luck!
Maryanne
I agree with Dirextor and Maryanne. He's proven himself over and over again, what will you gain by "positively" catching him one more time? You already know the score, you know what he's done, he's done it over and over, you know he'll do it again. You don't need a keylogger program to know he's not doing what's right, you have every right to distrust him, you'd be crazy to have any faith in him. If you believe the way he's handling his cell phone "out of respect for you" is bull, tell him that "out of respect for you" you want the detailed billing - each and every month. He wants to prove to you that he's doing everything right? Great! That's exactly how it's done, by opening up every part of his life for you to examine. Cell phone bills, computer and voice mail passwords, all of it. In order to gain credibility he has to allow you access to every single thing he does. The only way you'll be able to have any faith is to see for yourself that there is nothing -- and I mean nothing that looks suspicious. If he's unwilling to do everything you ask, open his private life completely to you, then you already know he's not willing to be open and honest, not willing to prove he's trustworthy (which says he's not trustworthy). Don't stoop to that insane game of him hiding and you trying to catch him. You're an adult in an adult relationship, not a child playing a game. If you can't trust him, why are you there? He's proven over and over that he isn't honest and he's put himself in situations that compromise your relationship. He says he made a mistake and he's sorry. Great, we all make mistakes. However, unless I'm wrong, you'd indicated this is hardly the first time he'd "made a mistake" with playing around with other women. The first time might be a mistake, but he's had plenty of opportunity to realize it isn't right, learn from it and not repeat it. The fact that he continues to act this way says it's not a mistake it's quite a clear, conscious decision on his part. It isn't that he doesn't get it, it's that he doesn't care, he does what he wants and what he wants is to fool around.
So, you get a keylogger program, prove what you already know he's doing. Then what? He says he's sorry and you start this circus all over again? Is this how you want to spend your life? You won't change it as long as he's a part of it.
~ cl-2nd_life"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
It's good to see you back again, Maryanne!
~ cl-2nd_life"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Thanks CL - Actually I've been here all along (lurking), but it's been busy at work lately. But reading this thread just really "chaps my hide" and I could stay silent any longer. To Deanna - you are worth way more than the way your husband is treating you. Stand your ground right now and let him know how much he stands to lose.
*** hugs ***
Maryanne
Hi all
Thanks again for all of your support. Much appreciated. I know what I have to do and I have every intention of doing it. After he had detailed billing cut off on his cell phone records (he cut it off mid month) he assumed that he whole bill would come in WITHOUT detailed billing which isn't the situation (trust me I have called company to see what to expect). The bill will come half detailed and half without details. He wasn't counting on this and funny enough the bill has yet to show up...geez..isn't that funny...i should have been here over a week ago. So obviously he got the bill saw the detailed billing on half and destroyed it again....when i asked him on the weekend where the bill was he said it hasn't arrived yet...like i believe that one. The bill is going to be due in about a week and a half. Why is it that a bill can show up at the same time every month for the last four years but now that I actually have interest in it and he has been hiding things it goes missing??...my question is this. When all that has happend has happened do the betraying spouse really think that the other is going to let up until they know all they need to know? Do they really just sit back and hope that all of it is going to go away?
When all that has happend has happened do the betraying spouse really think that the other is going to let up until they know all they need to know? Do they really just sit back and hope that all of it is going to go away?
_______________________________________________________________
No they don't.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
<< When all that has happend has happened do the betraying spouse really think that the other is going to let up until they know all they need to know? Do they really just sit back and hope that all of it is going to go away? >>
That depends. Do you want to continue this adolescent game of "Cops & Robbers"? Or do you accept the fact (I'm sorry for this) that it means more for your husband to hide bills rather than just come clean, confess, and stop all this nonsense. Is it worth your self-esteem? He's been given chances, I'll bet if he really wants to change - then you'd forgive him. And that's a good thing!
But my gut tells me that he'd rather play on the "other side of the fence" because it's exciting & different and all those feelings that cause marriages to break up.
If the cell bill is in both your names - have it sent electronically to your email address. Better yet - if you have an email @ work, have them send it there.
Hugs
Maryanne
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