KIDS

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2007
KIDS
1
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 12:06pm

Im not sure where to post this, but i will try here!

ive met a really really great woman (via internet and have not physically met yet), but we have a strong connection on all levels and get along great.  we've spoke of meeting and spending time together and im hoping to be able to do that soon.  there is one deal breaker though - she has 4 kids (ages 10-5) and says she doesnt want anymore.  i have no kids and im wanting that experience of being pregnant and enjoying motherhood with a child of my own.  of course, i would love her kids like mine, but i want to have this experience and bond for myself.  she is a school teacher and a gym coach and that is her concern.  i totally get it, but regardless if kids are involved or not, you are going to be "outed" to the kids and parents (bc kids talk) about your sexuality.  

my question is, do i continue to pursue this amazing relationship with her or do i walk away?  both of hate this situation and neither know what the healthy and right thing to do would be.  

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
In reply to: crlnaqt00
Sun, 11-25-2012 - 10:50am

crlnaqt00 wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px">Im not sure where to post this, but i will try here!</p><p style="font-size:13px">ive met a really really great woman (via internet and have not physically met yet), but we have a strong connection on all levels and get along great.  we've spoke of meeting and spending time together and im hoping to be able to do that soon.  there is one deal breaker though - she has 4 kids (ages 10-5) and says she doesnt want anymore.  i have no kids and im wanting that experience of being pregnant and enjoying motherhood with a child of my own.  of course, i would love her kids like mine, but i want to have this experience and bond for myself.  she is a school teacher and a gym coach and that is her concern.  i totally get it, but regardless if kids are involved or not, you are going to be "outed" to the kids and parents (bc kids talk) about your sexuality.  </p><p style="font-size:13px">my question is, do i continue to pursue this amazing relationship with her or do i walk away?  both of hate this situation and neither know what the healthy and right thing to do would be.  </p>

Is it that she doesn't want any more children in her household or that she doesn't want to carry and deliver any more babies? Big difference. Because if you're the one who's going to go through pregnancy and delivery, then it really doesn't matter if her thinking is the latter.  It matters more if her thinking is the former.

If you're afraid of future talk by kids, then walk away and leave her to her life with her kids and job and you find someone who wants to experience having a child the way you want to experience it.