klinefelters situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2009
klinefelters situation
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 9:54pm
I've been with him for 5 months. I am aware of his syndrome. He has admitted to me his bisexuality, and I just can't come to a comfort zone with that. Klinefelter's is said to give a male some female characteristics. He is an XXY male. I love him very much, and he loves me very much. I don't want him to lust for another male and leave me to be a Tula Cassey. That haunts me. He has depression, and low testosterone, so I can sympathize.. He's been on a date with the same sex, and that gets to me. He's had crushes, and I just can't understand his taste most of the time. But we care about each other so much. I just want some advice, or someone to tell me that it's nothing to be so paranoid or freaked out about. Any responses, please reply...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 10:54pm

Hi Countrygirl,

I Goggled the syndrome because I’m not familiar with it. From what I read, it didn’t connect the syndrome to bisexuality. It’s possible that may simply be his sexual orientation and may not have anything to do with the syndrome.

Five months is still the beginning stages of a relationship however I can understand your concern about the possibilities if your relationship goes long term.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-18-2009 - 1:55am
Welcome to the board, Ofalloncountrygirl ~

Bisexuals have no more problem being faithful than the rest of us. If I read your post right, your boyfriend is telling you he's interested in pursuing relationships with men now, is that correct? If so, what he's telling you is that he's not interested in an exclusive relationship with you, or he's telling you he's not as interested in you as you'd like him to be. If he's telling you he wants to be with you but is having trouble staying away from his urges to see others (whether they're men or women makes no difference), he's telling you he's not ready to commit to one person. You have every right to want someone who's only interested in seeing you, and you have every right to hold a boyfriend to a standard wherein he must be only interested in you in order to be your boyfriend. That's pretty reasonable.

The bottom line is, if this is a situation where he wants to date others or is expressing that he's having urges to date others, this isn't the place for you. If the situation is that you're simply aware that he's bisexual and have a problem knowing he has been interested in men even though he's solidly with you, then you have to figure out whether being with a bisexual person is something you can accept. He won't change and if his bisexuality is a problem for you, then he's not the right guy for you. You need a guy you're comfortable with and he needs a partner who can completely accept who he is. It wouldn't mean you're wrong or bad, just that this guy isn't a good fit for you.

"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"

~ Author unknown

2nd border

"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Fri, 12-18-2009 - 5:10am

<I don't want him to lust for another male and leave me to be a Tula Cassey.>

I don't know what Tula Cassey is, but would it really hurt you less if he left you for another woman?

We all have to trust our partners to be faithful, whether they're straight or bi. IMO if he's committed to you, it doesn't matter if he glances at the cute guys rather than the pretty girls. But if you can't deal with who he is, leave him and let him find someone who can accept him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 12:32am
I just want some advice, or someone to tell me that it's nothing to be so paranoid or freaked out about.

It sounds to me like you are deeply concerned about some aspects of his personality and past behavior. That's not nothing. I think you should listen to your inner voice that is so paranoid and freaked out, rather than convince yourself to ignore that.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. " - Viktor Frankl.

"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink