Kosher Love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2011
Kosher Love?
12
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 9:20am

I've been dating a girl for about 9 months and am completely in love.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 11:29am

I think that if keeping Kosher is very important to her, then you have to decide whether it's something that you can live with--do the other fine qualities that she has that made you go out w/ her outweigh you not being able to have a cheeseburger?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 11:30am

http://forums.ivillage.com/t5/Relationship-Problems/ultra-sensitive-dramatic-fiance/m-p/118504877/message-uid/118504877#U118504877

I realize what a "doppleganger" is and the fact that you both used almost the exact same username is not lost on me. I'm interested in which one of you is actually writing these posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2011
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 11:36am

Actually my username and that of the other user is a complete coincidence!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 11:48am

This bring up an interesting (to me) but not exactly the same issue of people who convert to someone else's religion to get married.

Avatar for tobermory
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2001
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 1:29pm

I think that really depends on the person. I don't really approve of converting just to get married -- it sort of belittles those who convert sincerely. But I do know a number of people who converted for marriage who then became more observant and interested than their partner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 10:58pm

Doppelgang-

Hi. I am borderline Oryhodox myself. I keep kosher according to Orthodox standards at home and occasionally, mainly with my non-observant parents and when traveling, will eat non-meat items in non-kosher restaurants.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 12:05am

Welcome to the board, Doppleganger ~

You're asking if there are ways to work around this issue.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 3:19am

>>

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 9:13am

LOL! That's some coincidence. I'm not 100% sure I buy it but I'm willing to accept it and move on :)

Anyway, you love having butter on your potatoes and a bacon cheeseburger once in a while.

How important is that to you? Do you consider eating lasagna to be a personal conviction that you're not willing to give up? For instance... I don't really consider myself a Christian but I will participate in Lent because I think there is a lot of merit in the practice of self-restraint. I understand that the metaphysical aspect of Kosher doesn't have an effect on you because logically, it doesn't really matter, and you're right.

But maybe you can change your perspective a little bit and look at the symbolism of it... Practicing self-restraint for a better purpose (to help your girlfriend foster her religion which is important to her). Of course you can sneak off for an occasional cheeseburger or something, but I wonder if you are so tied up in the impracticality, and the lack of logic, in the idea of keeping Kosher, that you are unable to see that maybe it's not the end of the world to give up (or severely cut back on) certain foods if it means becoming closer to the person you love.

Then again you've only been dating nine months, now would be the time to decide whether you're able to fit together or not.

Just giving another perspective to look at.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2011
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 9:14am

I suppose I have to clarify this with her but I don't think she would care what I do on my own or with my friends -- just as we are now, and so does she on rare occasions -- it would just be about setting a consistent example in front of future children.

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