long but need help ASAP

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2006
long but need help ASAP
8
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 6:38pm

ok this is going to be long but i just hope someone takes time to read it.
before i start ill just say that im probable way to young to be having this sort of problems but, i guess it happens at a differnt time for everyone.
i met this guy when i was in jr.high, he was in high school. so my parents wouldnt allow me to go out with him("date")we tried to anyways, via phone..but my parents just then tried to forbid me from talking to him period. for a while i did it anyways..it was a really juvinille relationship.but from the moment i met him there was an instant connection,like that nudge youd think you'd get when you meet the one you were made to be with. some stupid things happened and we stopped talking for about a year, i was in my last year of junior high and he was a junior in high school on differnt campuses so it was easy for me to forget about him. but come my sophmore year of high school(this year) the first time i laid eyes on him i felt that nudging,or tugging at my heart strings. i was reluctant to begin a relationship with him because he was what we call a "bad boy" he'd go to the races on weekends (cars--illegal)smoked, got drunk. stuff thati didnt do and didnt want to be represented by, by being with someone that did. So i guess we talked for a long while, this and thats would happen and id ignore him. but he would always come back and do better than the time before. once i was really sick for 5 days, missed 3 days of school and then the whole weekend..and he disappeared, meaning i didnt see or hear from him for 5 days.i called it QUITS then,even though we werent officially TOGETHER,i stopped speaking to him and he made me some little love things saying he missed me and that his heart was all mine or something...i rejected both of them right in front of him.i didnt have a problem making him suffer then you know because i got to see what it was doing to him-that he missed me.well, in december i guess we became an "item" and we were inseperable. some things happened inbetween but it wasnt anything we couldnt work through. one of his only flaws was that he had a habbit of not calling when he said he would which just happened to be a pet peave of mine.well about 2 weeks ago,..things with us were perfectly fine. well wednesday night i went to the movies with my three cousins..a girls night. it was different for me and him because normally we spend every day all day together, and love every moment of it.reluctantly he left.saying that he would call me when the movie was supposed to be over and come over to my house afterwards. (yes we loved beign together that much) well he called exactly when he had said he would but his phone died(he has this piece of crap phone that always dies)well he didnt call me until about 3am or something.i was furious yet half asleep he ended up saying that he'd call when he woke up then come over.well he showed up at my house at about 1:30pm(didnt call obviously, when he woke up) with his friend Jerry. my cousisn had stayed the night with me so they woke all of us up...he said that him and his friend were goign to eat, and i said thati was really hungry so he said "ill bring you something back!"..this was areally big deal to me because he had just recently ggotten a job that payed where he could buy things for me. he then decided that they would go eat at mine and his favorite resteraunt so he could bring me back our favorite(we had the same fav. there) well. he didnt bring me back any lunch.he didnt call for the rest of the day.or the next day for that matter.im sure i tried calling nonstop.i became worred.you see he was really stupid last summer and got a lot of speeding tickets and stuff like that,lost his lisence but was driving anyways now because he had to work.me and my mom have even been to court with him TWICE.my mom is a teacher at our school so she's been pretty involved in our relationship.plus he practically lived at my house.stayed the night often etc. anyways, so i became worried that he had gotten pulled over and thrown in prison. the next day Friday, im sure i tried calling all day.my cousins tried to put this new guy in front of me trying to take my mind off James(the guy im talking about)and i honestly tried.i "hooked up"with this guy 3 times.(reluctantly)friday night i was with my cousins and all these guys and one says "how come u arent on the phone with your boyfriend since he isnt here?" i say cause this is what happens when i try to call him(thinking the recording will come on, he doesnt have voicmail)and a girl answers.later i find out this wasnt anything to be alarmed about, but at the moment it happend...i broke down. imaganing him with another girl,doing things with another girl.my heart felt like it had just ran through a paper shredder.saturday i had an encounter with him,me and my cousins where driving trying to find his work so i could confront him and we end up running into him and chasin him on the highway for 30 minutes(how disfunctional???)saturday night was a blurr and sunday was sad.his "good friend"brandon started calling me while james and i werent talking, and told me that james told him that he couldc all me if he wanted because he didnt care.(prideful much??)so i was like okay whatever.brandon came to my house a few times(we didnt do anything i swear)it really hurt me to think that james didnt care that i was talking to other guys.buti was trying to deal.inside i was dying. i soon lost my appitite and didnt eat for days, i lost nearly 15lbs(went from 125ish-110)i cried all the time and i couldnt stop trying to call him.i missed him so much.and everything about my house reminded me of him.another reason it hurt so much was that i did had alot of "first times"with him.we never had sex,though we were very close at the time all this happened.i still felt so close to him because i had let closer to me in ways i had never trusted anyone before.and everything we did happened right here in my home on my couch,so everytime i sat on that couch i rememebred and missed everything.we watched a milion movies togethr on that couch,eating pizza cookies or brownies id make him. i missed his arms aroudn me and him telling me i was his baby or that he loved me more than i would ever know.hearing him say these things meant so much to me especially because he'd say them out of nowhere.which told me he meant it.i missed him stayin the night at my house when he had to go to work the next morning and me making him lunch at 2am so he'd have something to eat.i missed us falling asleep together watching LIFETIME (television for women anyone know of it??)if you do then yuo now that a guy must really love you to watch it with you.i felt like what was happening was NOT supposed to happen that way.i just wanted him to know what exactly he was losing. My mom calls him a pinball because he seems to get in these stages i gues you could say wher he feel like he needs to take off and do his own thing but then he realized that he screwed up but this..then that. dont get me wrong things hadnt been that way for the 4 months we were together.and right before it all happened he had been doing GREAT.calling on time being places on time etc etc.its like all of a sudden poof he was someone else for a few days. WELL i stayed home from school on monday becausei wasnt feeling well(duh). he called me at about 11:45am and my heart i swear leaped out of my chest.(he has his own ring tone,and i felt like i hadnt heard it in years)i answerd and he wanted to know why i wasnt at school i told him and he said well im doin (whatever) let me call you when i get back. i said ok wel i was gonna see if you wanted to come by since moms at school..so we can talk. and he says "..we'll..we'll see" i say ok(in a whatever way) and then he pauses an says "i love you" i felt a smile come on my face taking me back 4 days to when we were still us and said "i love you too" and we got off the phone.well he didnt come over to talk while my mom was gone,in fact he didnt call until about 11pm that night. of course when he did call i jumped and answered the phone.he had called from his cell phone and asked to call back on the house phone.we talked until 3am.i had written something to him on the computer and printed it off..for me to keep.he asked me to read it to him when i said osmehing about it so i did. and he ended up crying.i have NEVER heard him cry before or seen or heard of.this is the kind of guy thats got so many scars you wouldnt believe,tongue pierced,eyebrow...doESNT CRY.it made me so happy to hear him cry, for us to sit there and cry together.because i knew that i meant something to him. he cried while teling me how much he missed me. how said while crying "i want you back so bad" my heart was melting.while crying too he told me how he missed watching movies on my couch with me,how he missed me cookies and brownies and ordering pizza.listing all the things i had missedd too. first thing he said when we started to talk was"you were right" i said what?? and he said"you always said iw ouldnt know whati had until i lost it,you were right" he never could come up with a reason for waht he did. he said he flat out wasnt thinking.that he went out at night and got drunk, thought it would help him not think about it but that he had felt so lonely. i asked what made him finally decide to call and he said "ive been so lonely without you.and i coudlnt keep on knowing that i was hurting the person i love the most"i made it clear that we werent together and that if we did get back together id have to be after some major earning back on his part.like that it would take a while.and he was more than willing and assured me that that was the last time he would do something like that to me. well this was last week. and monday(especially) he did GREAT.my mom was N-O GO on us getting back together but i knew that if hekept up the way he was doing she wouldnt have a choice but to allow it. he was calling all the time and everytime we got off thephone even if it was only for a bit he would say " i love you so much sweetheart"i mean we always said i love you everytime we talked and even when we were together he'd just randomely said i love you.so tuesday(the day after our talk)at school he came down to the parking lot....oh yeah, he got droppedfrom school a few months ago for absences..his grandmother who he live with was in the hospital for a while and he had to stay with her and for recovery..our school has no remorse. so he came to see me i snuck down there at lunch to seehim. and the second my butt sat in the passanger seat he grabbed me and held me so tightly, without even letting me shut the door behind me....the night before when we had talked whiel crying he had said"i think if i got the chance to hug you right now, i would never let go". and he did just that he wouldnt let me go until i had to make him so i could shut the door so we woulnt get caught. we sat and looked into each others eyes for a minute then we just kissed.nothing sexy or slobbery.just a long hard kiss.a kiss you give someone you've missed more than words can say.then he held em again and said "im so sorry..im so sorry" we pretty much only spoke with our eyes.that day i was so happy.wednesday and thursday werent so great...he called a little less each day..but things were still okay.thursday he was supposed to come to church with me and said he was that day,it was one of the requirements my mom had given in order to allow me to see him was if we went to church too.well i couldnt even get a hold of him until AFTER church..oh how convinient.and he said he had been making money by driving a car to a dealership for his friends dad.i was like whatever SURE then he came to see me at Wendys and we talked.i told him about me and the other guy i hookedup with..he became furious.oh and i forgot to mention how that night we talked forever that he had told me how much he had HATEd me talking to his friend Brandon...that he had just told brandon he didnt care but that it really made him furious.anyways so i got home from visiting him at about 11.and recently my stepdad wont let me talk on the phone after 10pm on school nights so i told him id cal him in the morning.Friday was the next day,which would have been out 4 month anniversary(seems short i know but we spent eVERY day of those months TOGETHER)me and my mom were having a big garage sale saturday and he had said he would come and help set up on friday..but that he had to leave at 7:30 because he and his friend jerry had paid and signed upfor a pool tourn.previously and he couldnt just ditch his frriend who didnt have someone else to partner with..and plus that he had paid. i tried to be understanding even though i thought that he ditched me for enough days that he could DITCH a stupid friend but i said ok.well he got to my house at like...7:10 or something so wow he gets to stay 20 minutes THANKS FOR FITTING ME INTO YOUR SCHEDULE. i actually said that to him when he got there and that made him really mad but hey truth hurts. he had his friend Jerry with him which made me kinda mad because it was our WOULDVE been anniversary and i wanted a few moments of me and just him.well things with james and my mom were not good...cause he hasnt talked to her yet..so she was still on the warpath for what he did.so things were awkward but anyways.he had told me that if i let him go to that thing that night that he would be there at the garage sale at 8am...which i knew that he had just said that to make me happy but i said ok.well before he left my hose at 7:30 he said he would call and i said call ..when?? and he said that he would call when he got to the pool thing and in the middle of the tourn .and i said you promise?he said I PROMISE!so i was relieved..i asked where they were goin and he said that first they were going to get their other friend nick to come so that he could charge his phone in his car b/c he didnt have the cigarette lighter thing in his that u plug it into..(so that he could call me)i said okay.and he says that he will come back over when he gets back because i told him we would be up all night gettin ready for the sale and he says ILL BE HERE!!...well..he didnt call didnt call..i tried to call tried to call..phone was deadd deadd....he calls me at 3am. my mom hears him call and she comes over and takes the phone and says do you kno what time it is??no ones up to any good coming home at this time! blah blah blah..make this convo short..blah blah. i get mad at him for callin so late and he said nick wouldnt come so he couldnt charge his phone.i continue to get mad then he gets mad that i am getting mad becuase he said he couldnt help it buti say that he could have used SOMEONE ELSE'S ..its 2006 everyone has a freaking cell phone!!!anyways though i get over it,and he says to call him at like 10 and i am like what no u said you'd be here at 8am if i let you go out and he says well i didnt know the thing was goin to last that long and i need some sleep! so i say ok ill call you at 9 at the latest and he's like ok.so i fall back asleep and my mom wakes me up at like 6:30..i call james at like 7:45 n he refuses to get up.so i say ill call at 8:30...still refuses...i tell him its the least he could do after not even showing last night.he still says no.i call like at 9:15 and he says to let him call when he wakes up and im like uhh no it wil be over by then. so i say ill let you go back to sleep if u tell me if i call at 10 that you'll get up. after a long time of him like falling asleep on the phone i finally get him to say OK~!!! and we get off the phone. well i figured id give until 10:15 out of love(lol) well he doesnt answer.at 10:30,and 11 i figure he is sleeping and not answering/hearing the phone...cause he's done that before(heavy sleeper) 11:30 and 12 rolls around and my moms saying "what a keeper.he doesnt care kayli or he'd have been here.suprise,suprise" pretty much saying i TOLD YOU SO.and i keep making excuses for him and blah blah...i dont hear from him all day. i cry alone all day long.calling and calling and calling.finally i got ahold of his grandma at their house at about 2:30 and she says that she's been gone most of the day and that he was there when she left but that his cars there and that one of his friend must have came and picked him up (he has no money for gas)i also didnt mention that in the time we werent speaking he lost his job.(thats what happens to his life when im not around.)anyways so i am just so pissed off that he didnt even call.much less show up.first im irrate. and then as it became later and later in the day...hoping and hoping that he was going to show up or call.i fell apart again.and it was so easy because i wasnt even healed from the weekend before when the same crap had happened! its like all of a sudden he's back to how he was before we started going out!and im wondering what happend to him calling me crying?is it going to have to take us not seeing each other for 4 days for him to realize something. does he think that he can just take a vacatoin from having to worry abou anything..work...court stuff.....& that ill just be here waiting when he is done living his little immature pinball life he lived before he and i were together? i got ahold of him finally at like 4:30 yesterday and i said "what do you have to say" and he jut says "im eating right nowill call you in a minute" and hangs up. which is not like him. the day before he was saying i love you on the phone.im wondering if he's heard something and is mad at me.im not sure..i dont think he would do this again for no reason after last time.i just want to talk to him and know!!he never called back yesterday and im not going to wait up for a call today.i guess i am waiting up but im not expecting it. longing for it maybe but not expecting. you know me and him used to have such deep conversations with each other.he told me once that he had this feeling for me that he knew was different and i asked what and he said he couldnt explain it but he just knew i was the one he was supposed to spend his life with. we used to talk about how our kids would be..how we'd raise them..how he wanted me to get to stay at home while he worked. how he was going to cook dinner because i cant cook...etc etc. i know in my heart that he is infact the person God made me for. we are like two puzzle pieces.im just hoping that this is some sort of stage...of him fighting maturing. he needs to grow up so badly.(!!!) his friends dont help any.when we were together they would always call him whipped but he always said he didnt care and that he liked it,becaues he knew that i only wanted to know where he was and stuff because i cared.which was the truth.and he said he knew that he didnt have anyone else in his life that cared for him like i do(he has no parents..well he does but they dont give a crap about him) and all that was true and i was so glad we were on the same page with that. but now i bet his friends are tellin him he doesnt need anyone to answer to he's 19 years old he should be able to go and do as he pleases without having to make a phonecall or have to be anywhere at any certain time. thats the kind of immature jackass friends he has. im wondering if he'll call tonight or if itll take a few days again and then he'll call crying. im thinking about not answering.but i dont know how i cant..when all i want to do is hear his voice..hear him explain.and for us to go back to how things where.i know i am young and that things might still work out in the future but i just cant see myself with anyone else. ive tried forcing myself on someone else to like them even trying to force myself to become attracted to someone else and it just doesnt work. i pray that this is a stupid phase.of him living out something before he gets really serious about us.kind of like old men and their midlife crises i guess. i dont know. maybe he just needs longer than four days(even though they felt like years..)away from me to realize that what we have is real. and that the races and his buddies arent whats going to last for the rest of this life.....who can help me?

p.s. he never even really broke up with me. just went A-wall.
p.s.s-- this guy is my world. i dont know if i can except anything but "this too shall pass" as an answer
if he calls tonight? what do i say???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 7:21pm

You're 15? And your mom lets your bf stay the night at your house?

First, you are WAY too young to even begin to think about having sex with a guy. 2nd, how old is this guy anyway? he's geting drunk, driving on a suspended license, dating a 15 year old, going to illegal races......

I know you love him and want to spend every second with him. This is not how "grown-up" relationships work. And this is not how grown-ups should act in a relationship/

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2006
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 7:38pm

i think you're getting the wrong idea about him staying the night. my mom made me sleep with her and he slept in my bed. the only reason he would is because he worked long ours at a factory and would come over and just be so exhausted he'd fall asleep and she'd let him sleep in my room..because lives about 40 minutes away and his work is about 5 from my house. we never slept together so dont think that. my mom is very strict about that stuff.
i havent ever thought about having sex. id never even done anything with a guy than kiss until him...and i didnt even kiss him until over a month of our dating..its not like i rushed into anything i made him earn my trust. he lost it a few times and id make him earn it back. i just did some things, let him closer to me. you see its always been easy for me,a problem in fact, for me to give people, guys especially my heart, always too soon and always too willingly i always trust too easily. for me to trust a guy with my body i have never felt comfortable doing. i never thought id let anyone a male get that close to me. he is 19. he has an early birthdy and i a late, he is a senior in highschool and im a sophmore. my SCHOOL is a school of drunks its a miracle i am not..and while he was with me...he didnt drink not once..he went from getting drunk every weekend with his friends to not ever for 4 months because i told him it was the drinking,racing scene...or me. and the no lisence thing has always been a big issue.i mean biiig. because my mom never allowed me to go anywhere with him until he'd go get it.so trust me i never let a day go without telling him how sick i was of not being able to go OUT with him.i wish he'd just hurry and grow up to where i am so we can have a mature relationship.
:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 8:48pm

Sweetie, I've got to be honest and say that I'm having a great deal of trouble reading your post. It rambles (no offence intended) and I couldn't make it all the way through.

So I'll give a generic answer. You are only 15 and you are going to have many many boyfriends after this guy. And if there's one thing that I've learned in all my years of dating it's that you should dump anyone who isn't absolutely perfect for you.

You wonder if this will pass. Trust me, it won't. He is who he is and you've got to accept him as such or move on.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2006
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 9:33pm
yes sorry it is rambly. but thats how my mind is right now..a mess! plus i have ADD so my thoughts kind of come all at once. and memories
but thanks for your advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-10-2006 - 4:08am

Stop, take a step away from this situation and ask yourself what you'd advise a friend to do if this were her situation. Let's look at the facts. He puts you off, drops you, makes promises to call, come over, etc, then doesn't do it. This is not a one-time thing, this is a pattern. That means you can expect it to continue to happen. He comes back, sweet talks you a little and everything's back to normal. It's his way. He does what he wants, he lies (yes, lies) about calling you and coming to see you to get you off his back, to be able to get away easy to go and do what he wants. It's simple. All he's got to do is be extra nice for a little while and you're okay with it. He says can't see you because he can't let down a friend, but he has no problem letting you down for a friend. He's telling you very clearly and very plainly where you stand on his priority list. It does't matter what he says to you, words are cheap and easy. The proof is in the action, always. He's consistently shown you what you can expect and where you stand. He can treat you however he wants and you accept it. Why do you think you're not worth better than that? Why do you think you're only worth being thought of second, being treated like crap, being lied to so he can go off to do what he really wants to do while you sit and wait. It doesn't matter how old he is, what kind of life he's had or what's going on in his life at that time. It's rude, it's inconsiderate, it's uncaring and it's disrespectful of you. You know it, and so does everyone else. It's not that he forgets or that he doesn't know any better, and you know it, don't make excuses for him.


So, let's get down to it. You're staying because???? Because it's such great *romantic* stuff when he tells you all those wonderful things that are just bull to start it all over again? You can have a boyfriend who treats you right and says romantic things to you - trust me, they're everywhere.


You cry for days and days and don't eat when you break up? Sounds like a normal teenage break up to me. We've all been through 'em. Those first few weeks are rough. It hurts, it's incredibly sad, it doesn't feel like it's ever going to get better and it doesn't feel like there's ever going to be anybody else for us ever. We've all been there, normal stuff. Trust me, you will get through it and there is someone else out there for you. The good news is that there are several more someone's out there for you and they're all going to treat you better than this guy. You had lots of firsts with him and *everything* reminds you of him. Again, welcome to the club. We've all been there too. Everybody's had firsts and almost all of them are with someone other than we're with today. Yep, it's hard to see those things, especially in the early days of a break up, but you get through that too.


"...in my heart that he is infact the person God made me for."The person God made for you disrespects you, lies to you and puts you last? You really think God would do that to you? Why?



"...we are like two puzzle pieces."You are like two puzzle pieces that don't match. He lies to you, puts you last, you get hurt, upset, angry (and you should), he talks sweet for a little while and everything's okay -- okay so he can do it again, and you know he will. You believe in honesty, in respect and in care, he doesn't. Those are fundamental, basic differences, ones which need to be matching in order for a relationship to work. Sorry sweetie, but even you know you're not matching puzzle pieces.


"im just hoping that this is some sort of stage...of him fighting maturing. "Sorry sweetie, this is not a stage, this is who he is. And if it were a stage? You've already set the example of how your relationship works. This is how your relationship with him is going to be. If he puts you last now, he'll put you last always; if his friends are more important than you now, there's a reason for it, it's because his friends are more important to him than you are. He says what he needs to say to keep you on the hook, but his first priority is his friends, it always has been. He doesn't make excuses and lie to his friends to ditch them to be with you, he makes excuses and lies to you to ditch you and be with his friends. Sorry, I know this hurts, but it's the truth and it's past time that you faced it.


"When someone shows you who they are, believe them" He's shown you who he is, loud and clear, over and over and over and over.... It's time for you to face it.



"...he needs to grow up so badly.(!!!)" Do you think he's going to magically change when he's grown up? Does that mean you think there's an equal likelihood that you'll grow up and change to believe what he's doing is right? He's not going to change what he thinks, how he feels, how he treats people any more than you are. If you think he's going to change to be an honest, respectable, caring person, then you have to also believe you're going to change to think what he's doing is correct and you'll do it too.


"...his friends dont help..."The problem isn't his friends, it's him. If he dumped his friends, he'd find new ones just like them because these are the kind of people he likes, and he'd still treat you the same way, still make the same choices. He makes the choices he makes because he wants to. He's choosing them over you. Consistently. His choice. If he wanted to be with you, he would be. Let's suppose he does stick with his friends over you because of what they say if he doesn't. Do you really want to be with a guy who can't be with you because his friends make fun of him? Don't you want someone who can stand up for what he wants and not be shamed into staying away from you because his friends *make* him? You haven't said anything in your post that made me think he cared what anybody thought, why is he afraid of his friends? I think you know he's not, it's just another convenient lie/excuse for hanging out with them instead of you. If I was with a guy who couldn't be with me because of what his friends said, I'd drop him in an instant. I'm worth more than that. I want a guy who's not ashamed to be with me. Don't you?

"i dont know if i can except anything but "this too shall pass" as an answer" The problem is, it won't pass, it'll happen again and again, just like it always does. This isn't a phase or a bump, this is a pattern of behavior. This is how it is. You can pretend "it will pass", but you'll have to pretend it again the next time, and the next, and the next...at what point do you say, "enough"!?!? At what point do you decide you deserve to be treated better than this?

You've only been together for four months and he treats you like this? Do you know this is when things are at their best? What are you going to do when the relationship isn't so new anymore and he's not still trying to impress you? What are you going to do when he doesn't treat you so well anymore? Four months into a relationship is still very new still very much in the "deciding" stage, where you should be assessing the situation to determine if it's right for you. That's what you do in the early stages of relationships. You pay attention, you learn and you recognize what's worth keeping and what's not worth your time. This is not worth it, kiddo. It's a self esteem killer and a self worth killer too.


I know I've hit you hard with truths. But, that's what each and every thing I've said is, the truth. You can't make him do what you want him to do, what you know is the right thing to do. If he wanted to, he would, but clearly, he doesn't. He's had every opportunity, but he continues to lie and drop you cold. It's not a problem for him to know you're waiting for calls and visits that aren't coming. You have to know how incredibly cold, uncaring and disrespectful of you, your time and your feelings that is. That has to tell you where you are on his priority list, what he really thinks of you, how much he really cares to know he's leaving you waiting for something that's not going to come. It doesn't matter what he says afterwards, how sweet he is, how many tears go down his face, the fact is he's done it again and again and you know it's going to continue. It's way past time to put this to an end. Tell him you deserve someone who treats you better than this and end your relationship. Get through the tough times of missing him and feeling sad, bad, alone, etc. you will get through it. Then you'll be ready to move on to another relationship, but this time you'll be a little wiser. You'll know what kind of treatment you will not accept. Time to stand up for yourself and what you deserve. Time to stop being treated like crap. Time to stop settling for being so low on someone's priorities. You deserve a guy who has you at number one. He doesn't and he won't -- no matter what he tells you. You know better.

So what do you say if he calls tonight? Tell him he's given you plenty of time to think and you've decided the relationship is not worth your time. Tell him not to bother to call you again -- ever, then make it stick.








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-10-2006 - 10:00am

I wasn't getting the wrong idea. I saw where you said that you two hadn't slept together. However, I still think it's not a good idea.

You got a lot of good advice here. You deserve someone who will treat you so wonderfully that you would never have to post on a message board about him. Good luck.

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2006
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 8:28pm

thank you...everyones advice has helped me alot..im doing ALOT better.

thankyou=)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 11:10pm

I'm glad you're better!



No relationship that ends is a failure if you've learned something from it, and there's definitely a ton in this one to learn from. The good thing is, it'll make sure your next relationship is better because you have a whole list of things that will recognize better right away and you won't tolerate them for a second. Like they say, BTDT, not doin' it again!







~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"