In love with my wife and another woman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
In love with my wife and another woman.
20
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 7:50pm

Is it wrong to love two different women at the same time? My wife and I decided to swing with another couple. We both have developed strong feelings for the other couple. My wife knows I really like this other women, but doesn't know I love her. What do I do? It was my wife's idea to start this swing thing now I have fallen to deep, I love both of these woman in different ways. Please help....

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 7:19am

You understand poker so here is a texas hold em analogy for you....


This starting hand was weak (like A2s) but too tempting for you not to play... so you stayed in, and the pot has risen, so that you

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 11:58am
Well spoken. I agree with what your saying. So now let me tell you what happened over the weekend. My wife and this other woman had luch on friday. My wife told me what they talked about. Here we go... This other woman told my wife that she had real strong feelings for me but she does want to leave her husband or break up our marriage. And my wife confessed the same to her. Here is the deal. I am so damn confused. My wife loves me and wants to continue seeing these folks and has no problem with this woman having these feelings for me. Am I missing something? or should I be worried here????????. Almost like to seperate relationships. What is going on?????. I mean If I can love my wife and love this other woman and not ruin two familys is this wrong??
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 12:02pm
It would appear that you two are on the same page.. she's doing exactly what you're doing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 12:51pm

Well heck then, why not have them move in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 1:13pm
Yes they also have children. I guess the thing that really bugs me about this. It seems to easy... I mean I have the best of both worlds. That would be the next question. What about the kids?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 1:35pm

The best of both worlds for how long... what is the exit strategy?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 2:01pm
Wow, I never thought of it in all those ways. This is so great to hear differnt opinions. I guess one point you made that I strongly agree with is, the fact about who will she or I turn to when or if somekind of crisis were to occur. Who will she turn to?. My wife is so happy right now. We talk more now then we have in 13 years, not just about this but about other things. Wow what are we doing? How do I stop, without hurting all these other people?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 5:24pm
Does the other man know his wife has feelings for you? If not, how do you think he'd feel about that? Does he know you have these feelings for his wife? If he found out, would you be hurting his marriage? You said the women told you how this other woman feels about you, but did you tell your wife how you feel about this other woman?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 5:42pm
This other man does know how his wife feels for me. I dont know if I can say I love this woman. But My wife does know I have very strong feelings. See I dont believe in love at first site. I believe it is something that people experiance. And people become to love eachother. Maybe I am wrong.. This other woman can't replace what me and my wife have. All the years of ups and downs. Is it wrong for me to have these feelings and why is my wife not worried? thats the part that scares me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 7:18pm

That's the problem... I doubt you can end it without someone getting hurt.

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