iN LovE oR attATCHed ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2006
iN LovE oR attATCHed ?
10
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 12:14am
Can someone please tell me how you know if your still in love or just attatched?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 12:18am

I don't think that there is a "one size fit's all" answer here because we're all different.

But in my case, I think that my marriage was over when I started to spend a lot of time day dreaming about being single again.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 1:00am

Saraveza's previous posts can be found here:


snort!! SNORT!! snort!!
on STRIKE?








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 1:05am

Saraveza, based on your question and your previous posts, it sounds like you're having some real issues/concerns with your relationship, more so than annoyances; it sounds like there are deeper issues/concerns/ going on. Why don't you tell us what's going on and how you're feeling so we can better understand and be better able to help? Not only will writing it out help us, but you may find writing your feelings/concerns/issues down very helpful in feeling better yourself.








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2006
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 1:50pm
one things for sure...if you have a fear of honesty,message boards are not for you!My situation might be just because ive been irritated a lot lately.Maybe I need to get back to work or somethin.Ive been outa work(my choice) for well over a year.I just experianced some life changing health issues(cancer).I do love the guy.I do know I could go on w/out him.Maybe im PMSing.I dunno.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 2:23pm

The beauty of it is that regardless of whether it's a case of just being irritated or more than that, you'll get out honest opinions on it.








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2006
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 2:47pm
ya know cl-2nd_life i think u are very insightful and you seem to be very into your replys to everyone.Thats admirable because besides having your own life you have an ability to really "see things" in these posts.& another thing bout message boards & its kinda funny but the embarrassment that someone might feel from revealing things(such as in these posts) in person is absent.(although ive almost felt embarassed when writing "snort!SNORT!snort!)Thank you though iVillage is the most helpful place to post.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 4:50pm
But that's another part of the beauty of the boards cl-2nd_life was talking about. No one knows who you are so you can tell everything without being embarrassed.
I guess I don't get why youre embarassed to post when youre posting under an alias?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2006
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 10:47pm
Simply ask yourself, do I Love Him, and if you can honestly answer yourself, you'll get the answer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 12:53am

Bev, how I envy you being able to question your feelings and find an answer so easily!

In my experience it's not always that simple. There are other feelings that can masquerade as love - such as lust. Or when it comes to the end of a relationship, it can be hard to decipher just what one feels anymore.

I remember when I left my first husband. Up until the day I left, I would have sworn that I loved him. But after I left (because of the proverbial straw) the relief was so strong that I realised the deep love had gone long ago.

In my case, the "love" that I felt was actually combination of still caring about him and probably a strong degree of habit. I also tend to think that admitting love has gone is one of the hardest things to do in a long established relationship. Sometimes it's easier to look for the smaller signs and add them all up.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2006
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:40am
I agree, I am sorry if I seemed understanding, I was with my ex- for 25 years and it was very hard for me to leave even though he was an alcoholic just for the fact that we were together from the age of 21, which when I think back , I think that I was there for all the wrong reasons. I still love him and always will, but I felt like I was dying when I was with him and that I lost myself. I couldn't help him, so I needed to help myself and my 3 children, til this day I feel like I've wasted so many years hanging on with him and for what??? Stay Strong!!!!!