Making Him Trust Me Again
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|Mon, 12-28-2009 - 8:16am|
I'm 24, my boyfriend is 26. We started dating three years ago and dated for almost all those three years but last year around March I split. I can't really explain it all, I just got wrapped up in my head and for some reason put myself through so much pain, and left. I had to move all my things out, say goodbye to his family and ended up running around from house to house. I was being obnoxious and childish, but for some reason felt like it was the only thing I could do.
Then after getting horribly sick because I wasn't taking care of myself, I landed myself in the hospital. I have epilepsy and started having a lot of seizures due to the stress I put myself under. It wasn't until after I got out of the hospital and really took a step back that I realized I'd been so stupid.
Luckily enough for me, my boyfriend took me back. We'd been broken up for almost five months. When we got back together we were both so psyched to have one another back that most of the painful issues involving the breakup just got swept under the rug.
Then recently, this girl popped up that he had had a crush on when we weren't together. He admitted to me that he had started to move on without me and developed feelings for her. We've been back together for about five months now and I just realized this stuff about this girl. It brought up a lot of demons out of me, and I got very upset. Mostly because it reminded me how horrible everything was that I did to him. I can't imagine someone leaving me the way that I left.
My problem is, I don't know how to act or what to do to make him realize how sorry I am. After all of this, there's no doubt in my mind that I absolutely love and adore him, and want him in my life. I realized that my life without him was not what I wanted. He loves me back, but is dealing with conflicts I'm sure in his head because I came back after all of that. He didn't think I was going to.
What's a girl to do? Any advice on how to get him to accept me fully back? And forgive me?