Manners when dining out
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Manners when dining out
| Tue, 03-28-2006 - 3:04pm |
My boyfriend has a really sarcastic sense of humour and sometimes I'm not sure how to take it when he's talking to other people. Especially if we are dining out he seems to want to heckle the waitress. He doesn't flirt or anything he doesn't know how to get her attention or flag her down. He points his finger up in the air and it's kind of embarassing. I said "gosh haven't you gotten what you need yet, let's eat!" We can be impatient. Yet he is just used to having his way eating out at nice places, but he pouts when he can't get the service he wants or simple things like getting the waitress to bring him ketchup or another napkin. He says he likes good service like most of us, but I think he's a little overbearing and I can't enjoy my meal for waiting on him to get set. I almost hate to go eat out with him because it takes so long. -Dawn

I've got to be honest.....rudeness to waitstaff is one of my dealbreakers. I always think "rude to the waiter today....rude to me tomorrow". In my view, how a partner treats others gives a clue as to how they will treat us when their best behaviour slacks off a few months into the relationship.
So, my question to you is: is it JUST waitstaff that he's rude to....or does it extend into other parts of his life? Think about examples such as other drivers on the road, clients, friends, family......
I'm sarcastic and I like to heckle. I do it nicely but I do realize that not everyone "gets" my sense of humor. :)
I've also been a waitress and I am picky about being waited on. I won't harrass the staff in a resturant but I do agree if I'm eating out in a nice place, I had better get better service than I would at Denny's. And if I want ketchup, I'm going to wait to get ketchup before I eat. Also, raising a finger in the air IS a common way to get the attention of wait staff, especially in Europe. Could be a trait he's picked up.
I haven't been there with him but what you described to me doesn't sound "rude" per se.
Jen
I need more specific examples of what he does. Can you give examples of the heckling/sarcasm he uses on them? Do the waitresses joke back, are they upset/perturbed by it, or what is their reaction?
Can you give us a "blow by blow" of a restaurant experience with him?
P.S. I've put in a request for your post to be moved to the "Relationships Problem" section of the board. So, if it seems to disappear from the section it's in, you'll know where to find it!
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
Edited 3/29/2006 3:02 am ET by cl-2nd_life
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Did I misunderstand, Vixen1974? I thought you were looking for thoughts and maybe some suggestions on your situation. Was this just a vent?
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
It is possible to be assertive while still being respectful to others. Asking for what you want or need is OK, as long as you do it with in a nice way.
If you're feeling like you need to apologise for his behaviour, then I would suggest that he needs to learn some respect for the feelings of others.
And I've got to say, Vixen, there is absolutely no way you should be apologizing to anybody. The one who's behaving like a jerk should be the one to apologize. You're not a mom tending a cranky two-year old!
**Edited to say**: I posted a question about low blood sugar/hungry, cranky guys to see if anyone has any knowledge of low blood sugar and to see what other's thoughts and experiences are in the realm of hungry/cranky guys. In case you're interested in the responses to the question, you can find the post here:
Low Blood Sugar? Looking For Input!
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
Edited 4/11/2006 4:03 am ET by cl-2nd_life
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"