Missing phone calls??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Missing phone calls??
27
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 10:25am
Hi,
I am new to the board and have a small issue with my bf. We have been talking on the phone everyday since we met back in mid January. This past Friday, he didn't call. I called him but he wasn't there. He told me he went out. This was the first time it had happened until last night. It happened again, no call from him. I called him but there was no answer. I went by his house and he was there - lights were on all over his house. He always tells me when he has plans so I am used to knowing where he is and what he's doing and when he's doing it. I do understand that men need their space and I don't want to crowd him. I didn't ask him what happened after the first time. I let him bring it up on his own. Now it has happened again and I'm unsure of how to handle it. Am I taking these two no-calls too seriously? Should I worry about bringing it up this time since it has happened now twice in the same week?


Edited 4/5/2006 10:26 am ET by fashionj2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 9:37am
I feel pretty good about where things now stand. It's been years since I've been in a relationship. I have realized, with the help of my friends, that I cannot pick at him over every little thing. I didn't hear from him last night because I changed my phone number and hadn't given it to him yet. I called but there was no answer. I went by his house and he was there. This was about 9:30pm. Got home and tried to call again but still no answer. What do you think about this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 12:03pm
Well, I think he simply wasn't home.








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 12:18pm
Yes, he was there, at least after 9:30, which was the time I drove by his house. His car was there and the lights were on. I never told him I was planning to change my phone number. I called him after I drove by his house and there was no answer. I guess there shoudn't be a reason for concern. Since I saw that he was home alone and didn't have company.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 12:30pm

I guess what you know is that if he doesn't feel like talking when the phone rings he won't pick it up.








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 12:44pm

If I get a call from a number I don't recognize, I don't pick up, and I won't respond to the call unless the person leaves me a voicemail. Is it possible that's what happened with your new number? I think a lot of people do that (screen numbers they don't know).

I don't know...it strikes me as a little odd that you keep driving over there and checking up on him. Why do you feel the need to do that?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 12:56pm

Good point on not picking up calls you don't recognize, I do that too.








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 12:57pm
Well, I was planning on giving him my new number when I called him but didn't get an answer. I didn't have any plans on changing my number. I just called my phone company while at work (the same day I called him and drove by his house) and asked if it was possible to get a number change. When I got home, that same day, I was never able to get in tough with him. He may have been in the bathroom when I call one of the four times but not all of them. I wanted to first find out if he tried to call last night before I tell him I changed my number. I'll also let him know that I tried to call and that I drove by his house.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 1:02pm
He doesn't have caller ID, so he can't tell whether it's a new number or not and even if he did, he'd be able to see my name. I drove by last night because I had to gas up and I pass his house on the way there. I also wanted to see if he'd made it home yet. The last time I drove by his house I was checking to see if he had company because he wasn't answering but I don't do this everytime I don't get an answer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 2:46pm

Why not just stop by. Apologize for showing up announced, tell him you tried to call first, let him know your number has changed and if he doesn't invite you to stay or show any other interest in spending time with you, there is nothing left to wonder about. As rude and inconsiderate as it may be, there is a possibility that he is moving on.


If he does offer another weak explanation for why he didn't answer then, I personally, would consider whether or not I would want to continue the little game of tag you all seem to be playing.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 3:00pm
I'd hate to just stop by. I've never done that to anyone because I don't like people doing me that way. He is in the concrete business and has to be at work at all times of the morning and I can respect that. I don't feel like he is blowing me off because at all.