Mixed Signals

Avatar for appstateangel23
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Mixed Signals
Wed, 06-18-2003 - 1:46pm
Hey guys. I have a long story to tell hear and I hope that you all can manage to sort it all out. Sometimes even I can't. haha

I am a junior in college right now, but back when I was a young 'un in 8th grade, I "dated" a guy named Kevin for 7 months. All through high school, after we broke up, we were very close friends, the best of friends...everyone would talk about what a great couple we would be and all of that but we pretty much ignored it. He didn't date another girl after me until our senior year... and when he started dating her, he asked for my opinion of her and my advice. We respect each other's opinions soooo much. Well, I was really jealous, which is weird b/c I was 2 yrs into a relationship myself, but I told him to go for it. He was with her for a year and a half and they broke up.

After we graduated, I didnt see him again or even talk to him for a year and a half. At some point, he started calling my house to ask my family when I would be home from school so that he could see me... and I eventually ended up gettin together with him. That was in March.... We spent that entire month hanging out, cuddling, talkin about how we should have never broken up.... but he never kissed me. He told me that he had only ever kissed Ashley, and that kissing was special and he didn't wanna kiss just anyone. Needless to say after dealin w/ him constantly shooting me down when I would ask to come visit him or saying i couldn't come watch him run track, we didn't work out b/c he told me that while he did have "some" feelings for me, that it was mostly just as friends... Then he told me that he didn't know what would happen in the future, but that it wasnt happening at that time.

We remained friends after that and talked casually on the phone every now and then. Then I called him about a week ago and asked if he wanted to come visit, b/c I was bored. He said that he couldn't do it and I didn't worry too much about it. Then I called him back on Monday night and asked him about going to a big party with me that a friend back home was having, he quickly agreed and then suggested something else we could do together. We ended up talking for 2.5 hours on the phone...at which point he decided he was gonna drive an hour and a half at 11:45pm to come see me. When he got here we went and chilled on my bed since he was so tired and talked until about 4am about all kinds of stuff.... He kept joking around with me that we were gonna get married one day... and telling me about how his dad keeps telling him that i'm perfect for him... and said stuff about how he's been praying for his wife... (he's really religious and pledged in church not to have sex b4 marriage) We started cuddling and he was making lil comments about how it was like our bodies were made for each other cuz we fit together like a jigsaw, and that our hands fit together perfectly and this and that.... He was really sweet.... Just when i was about to fall asleep, he leaned over and kissed me on the shoulder and then on the cheek, and then on the lips..... and then he said that he hadnt intended to do that, but I just looked so pretty and he felt something..... We cuddled all night and things went great the next day as well, he was really sweet... and was saying how he's gonna have to come see me all the time.....and how it made him feel like we were married to wake up with me and have me fix breakfast for him and stuff, and started joking about how maybe he should just come move in with me...

Well, we talked on the phone last night... and he was still being really sweet... but he said some things that really, really threw me off. He said something about how I'm his "best friend" and then made a comment about how when he gets famous runnin track that I could tell people that I "used" to date him. At the same time as he was saying that though, he once again referred to how he had such a great time with me and how kissin me was so special to him... then asked me to come visit him at school AND to come watch him run track.... I know that if he's praying for a wife that he's obviously ready for a relationship now, but he also says he doesn't believe in "making" anything happen. I don't know how to read him... I don't know if he wants to pursue something with me or not... We still have several plans with each other.. but I just don't know if I should be holding off on seeing anyone else or whether or not to let myself get too excited about all of this considering he means so much to me. What do you guys think??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 06-18-2003 - 9:21pm
Don't put your life on hold for him. You aren't in a committed relationship, and he didn't make any promises to you. You had a good time, and he said things that felt right to him at the moment, but in the end he went back home without making you his girlfriend. Besides, it would be a long-distance relationship, and those are very difficult to deal with. You don't need the distraction in your life. Continue to get your education, and be more social with the people in your area. I am sure you will find a guy among them who will want to make a relationship with you, and won't be so wishy-washy with his affection. If it really is meant to be, it will be. Don't waste your life betting on it, though.