Monetary Issues with boyfriend's family

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2011
Monetary Issues with boyfriend's family
7
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 1:26pm

Hello,

I’m in need of advice. I’ve been dating my b/f for over two and a half years now. For the most part, we get along well and we know each other’s quirks/habits, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 8:51pm

Are you living with your boyfriend?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 9:09pm

I agree that this is your BF's problem to deal with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 1:32am

A belated welcome to the board, Edenc2010 ~

I think it's completely wrong that these people would ask you for money and beyond belief that any of them would ask you to ask your parents for money for them!

I think you're completely right to have refused and to have reported their contact to your boyfriend.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2011
Tue, 08-09-2011 - 2:18pm

To everyone out there:

Thank you kindly for your sincere replies, it makes me feel much better. Sister #2 sent me a message saying how sorry she was and she was really desperate for money and not only was she trying to get money out of my parents, but also her family members and other friends. It turned out she was over $3K behind on rent and she was petrified of getting evicted. You see, Sis#2, her mom, and another younger sister all live in the same apartment. That's why they asked my b/f for $200 for their cable bill and then another $500 for back rent owed. Their mom is on a fixed income and had surgery in the hospital and her insurance did not cover all of that.

I tried explaining to Sis#2 that I'm sorry what she went through and I was shocked and suprised b/c I get anxious when people treat me like a family member and then slowly, they try and start to ask me for things. As well, I told her she was a bit out of order asking my parents (I'm an honest person). I also told her that I think it's best that I keep my distance because it made me very uncomfortable. I also tried to sympathize with her b/c of my ex-husband's bad debt and not paying bills, we got evicted the same week we split up (he broke my hand b/c of an altercation) and I had one month to move out and find my own place which I was fortunate I did in the interim. I do not live with my b/f - I like my independence 100%.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 08-10-2011 - 12:35am

My first question would be what were the family dynamics in your boyfriend's childhood home that caused all his siblings to have issues?


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 08-10-2011 - 12:52pm

In some states, c.s. does not end at 18 if the child is still in school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 08-10-2011 - 1:23pm

I find it interesting that your ex came from a dysfunctional family and you said you wanted to avoid that,