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|Mon, 05-12-2003 - 11:26am|
Hello. My husband and I had this huge fight last night about grandparents. We have a 4-yo and an 8-mo. The grandparents, ever since the 4-yo was 3 months old, wanted to have him overnight all of the time. I thought that was really weird. I let him spend the night once and for the rest of the his years they continually want him overnight. They never want to just spend the day with him or come over and visit, they just want him overnight! These grandparents (my husband's mom and dad) raised their kids horribly with no attention and all kids were into drugs and depressed and one shot and killed himself and now they are trying to make up for it with the grandkids. I feel like they are butting in and trying to be too controlling and wanting to "raise" them. The first son's child they practically raised him and had him for 2-3 nights a week. Then my son came along and they expected to have him over like that and I did not think that was right. I love to spend time with my kids, too. Am I being too selfish (I think I am sounding like it). The way I was raised, I would visit my grandparents all the time and maybe spend the night with them once every 4-5 months or during a special occasion when parents were going away! My husband was raised that the grandparents had them every weekend and the whole summer! We came at a clash about this last night and it was awful! He thought nobody else was raised like me and that I was weird and that grandparents are supposed to be like that! I have no clue and I'm doubting myself about how I am feeling. I feel like once in a while spending the night is okay, but not all of the time! We cannot come to a compromise on this at all. There have been incidences in the past where they have done incompetent things (like extra-dosing medicines and feeding milk when should not have)that make me weary of stuff. And whenever they talk about having him overnight, they say stuff to rub it in my face that he did stuff with them that he never had done with us! That just bugs me! I cannot seem to get past this stuff they have done and said to me over the past few years with my son. I have no idea what to do. I feel they can spoil him just as well spending the day with him, but for some reason I am so scared of him spending the night. I was sexually molested as a child and I have no idea if that is what this is stemming from and my insecurities about that! I am so confused. If anyone can help, please go ahead! Thanks! Sorry this is soo long!