My boyfriend is signed up on an online dating/hookup site. What should I do?
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|Fri, 03-22-2013 - 9:51pm|
I've come across some troubling information that I'm not sure how to handle...my boyfriend is signed up for two free online dating/ hook up sites (but from my snooping I've found out he's only really active on one). I'm looking for advice on what to do about this because 1) I'm shocked that he even has accounts on these sites, 2) I've never had this occur in any of my previous relationships and 3) because I found this out by snooping on his email account so in a way I've violated his trust too.
I'm not proud I snooped but I'd been having the feeling something was off with him and so since I know what his password generally is I logged into his e-mail to find he is signed up for a dating site and has off and on been actively messaging girls on it, even straight out asking some of them or hinting at hanging out with them sometime. I also discovered that throughout our nearly year and a half long relationship that he has had several accounts on this same site. It appears that he'll have one open for a short time, close it, then a short time later create a new account on this same site.
So what should I do? I had the idea to snoop in the first place because I started to have the feeling I couldn't completely trust him as much as I'd like to. (Turns out I was kind of right.) But since I found all of this out by snooping I'm not sure if I should try confronting him about it because he could throw me snooping back in my face.
Overall, I'm just really confused. I'm very much in love with him and lately we've been talking about moving in together, which was something he brought up first, and he's even brought up marriage and having kids together. So does he really love me and want those things or is he just keeping me around as a constant? I've tried asking how serious he is about our relationship and he responds by telling me how much he loves me and that he wants to try and build a future for us together.
I have absolutely no idea how to process, react, or handle all of this. All I do know is that I feel really stupid that this has been going on and I had no idea until recently. You would think something like this would be easy to pick up on. So any advice or comments would be great! Thank you in advance.