My hubby and I have tension

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
My hubby and I have tension
4
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 11:49pm

First of all, thanks for the advice/suggestions on my other thread called "Need some suggestions".

Ok...now here's my question. My hubby and I have had tension in our marriage, therefore, its made us distant.

What are some ways to relieve this tension to where we can become closer.

Since my hubby is out of town for a week, this is a good time to reflect on our marriage. So, while we are apart, I would like to find ways to help us become closer. I miss being close to him.

Would appreciate any suggestions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 12:52am

Welcome back, Casey0201 ~


For those who aren't familiar or want to refresh on Casey's situation, her previous posts can be found here:

I want that loving feeling again


Need some suggestions








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 2:03am

Hi Casey, I'm really pleased to see you taking our suggestions on board. It's not going to be an easy or quick change, but it will be worthwhile. I haven't posted to your thread wanting ideas on being affectionate yet. Are you still looking for more ideas? Or perhaps there enough for you to mull over for now.

Regarding the tension, there are no 'quick fixes' for relieving it. The one and only way to lessen the tension is to address whatever caused the tension in the first place. It's a long slow process that will need cooperation and discussion from both of you. You've already started addressing the affection issue .... but are there any other areas causing tension that need addressing?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 12:05pm

<>

Since I'm really new at initiating affection, yes I would appreciate more ideas.

I've also decided to show my appreciation to my hubby. Since he's out of town, I'm hoping that he will appreciate me washing and waxing his car. He babies that car.

What are some of the ways to show appreciation too?

<>

I think what really causes the tension is just all the little "stupid" fights that we have had that have ended us usually yelling and screaming at each other. Its gotten to be so much, I think that's what causes the tension. I have asked him what causes the tension and its just the little silly things.

I'm hoping with the effort of me showing affection as well as showing my appreciation will help relieve alot of this tension.
What do you all think?




Edited 6/8/2006 12:06 pm ET by casey0201
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 5:54pm

>>I think what really causes the tension is just all the little "stupid" fights that we have had that have ended us usually yelling and screaming at each other. Its gotten to be so much, I think that's what causes the tension. I have asked him what causes the tension and its just the little silly things.<<

Showing affection would fix part of the problem, but the two of you would also need to be addressing what you fight about and also your fighting technique. Yelling and screaming at each other would put even the best of relationships on edge! But even more so when it's over silly little things.

Could you give a few examples of the "stupid" issues that you fight over? And could you give some examples of the conversation that precedes things escalating out of control? Perhaps we can give some constructive suggestions as to how to keep things calm and sort it out.

Will be back in an hour or two with affection/appreciation ideas.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace