My husband got a tattoo !!!!!!!
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| Thu, 08-10-2006 - 3:38pm |
Haven't posted in awhile, but I'm always around.
Had to get some insight on this or I think I am going to go crazy...
My husband has talked about getting a tattoo since he joined the military 7 years ago. I told him a I had no problem with a tattoo as long as it's not something outrages, too big or that can be seen with his work clothes, (he now has left the coast guard and works as a civilian for the federal government). We've talked about many times in casual conversations and always laughed at the fact that my husband is terrified of needles and blood, but that it would be cool to have the guts to go thru with it.....
So he leaves last week for a few days back to our hometown with one of his buddies, and after two days after arriving he calls me into our room and there IT is...a 7-8 inch tattoo of a hammer head shark on his arm.....I just about fell over...he was kind of nervous, rambling on about how he wanted to surprise me. I was in shock. How could he do something like that with out consulting me first.
He says he was not planning on it, that the opportunity came along to have it done for much less than what it would cost here in Miami and that he to his understanding, I had agreed to it....
My points are these:
-We never seriously talked about it, we would mention it in casual conversations....
-He did it somewhere else, behind my back with one of his buddies..(by the way he spoke to me about 3 times in the very moments he was having it done) .....didn't mention it....
- Gets home and waits 2 days to tell me....
- This is a major decision that I think should have been discussed in a more serious matter since it's forever (not like if he had dyed his hair blonde !!).
He says is no big deal, that he didn't think much of it and that I am overreacting.
We had a huge fight, with me telling him that I hate the tattoo, I don't want to see it or talk about, that to me it represents how disrespectful and inconsiderate he was. We are in "need to speak" bases and I just don't know how to go forward with this. We still have to go through the grilling of friends and family, and I would have been supportive of it if I had been involved in the decision process, but since I wasn't, anybody that asks I am going to tell them that he did it behind my back and I know nothing of it, it's his problem.....I tell you everytime I see that thing , my blood boils.....
please tell me if I'm taking this way out proportion ....

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>>>I just thought that when the moment came for him to do this he would've let me know.<<<
This is one big miscommunication.
Wow, I'm shocked at your perspective. I think that not only are you blowing this out of proportion, you are way out of line. You shouldn't think you have ownership or control of your husband's body. I understand maybe you'd like to have had input, but he is his own person, it's his body, and it is not unethical, immoral, or illegal. I, personally, am not at all into tattoos, and wouldn't like my SO to get one, but I have no right to inflict myself on him.
I hope you don't inflict this controlling behavior as a regular routine, because it will only result in resentment or departure.
Don't sweat the little stuff, there are much more things worthy of this type of emotion. : ) Good luck!
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