They might not be having a physical affair (you think but you don't know for sure), but I can tell you from experience that they are almost definitely involved in an emotional one.
Your husband is pinning all the responsibility on her saying "this is how she is" but he answers the phone by calling her "baby". Sorry to say, but he is encouraging and elevating the situation on his own. I'm not sure why you think he's not having an affair, all signs point to something that's not right.
I had something going on with my coworker for a while and it went down pretty much exactly this way.
I don't think you need to get over it, you need to let him know that you're uncomfortable with their interactions and insist that he stop with the "hey baby" and unnecessary interaction. He loves her attention and he's going to be defensive, but I think if you want to avoid an inevitable affair, you will tell him that you're having problems in the relationship that you really want to settle with counseling. Your husband isn't treating you like his one and only. This is a situation that needs to be fixed before it goes any further. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, it must be really difficult.
Welcome to the board, LauraIvillage2919 ~
I agree that you don't need to "just get over it".
This is way beyond any type of appropriate boss/employee behavior. If my husband did this, and blew me off over it, I would ask him how he would feel about getting divorced.
I think you need to point out that she is being blatantly disrespectful to you and other wives of her male co-workers by behaving in the manner that she is.
Exactly what I would tell her. Putting the shoe on his foot will hopefully make him see how she feels. If not, and he refuses to stop being so overly friendly with her,
I-I-I or (eye-eye-eye)....your husband is in a tough spot.
I think this woman is acting incredibly inappropriately for work.
If you thought they were having an affair, then that would be one thing.
Tell me why he calls her "baby" then if you think nothing is going on
Yep, seems to me the only woman a husband should be calling "baby" is his wife. Totally inappropriate to be referring to a female co worker as "baby"