Is my manager into me? And would it be such a bad thing if he WAS?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Is my manager into me? And would it be such a bad thing if he WAS?
7
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 1:25am

A few months ago I started working at a skater-esque shop in my town's mall. It's basically just a job that fills my time since almost all my friends are off to college and I'm doing my G.E. locally, so it's not like I'm planning my career with this company. Anyway, the store manager is 24 and I'm 18. Since our mall is small, it usually hits a lull during the day where not many customers come in. So sometimes it's just me and my manager hanging out.

Lately there's been a lot of subtle flirting going on. Sometimes when the shop is super busy we just lock eyes and smile at each other. He tries to take his breaks with me and sometimes we get off around the same time and we walk out to our cars together and talk some more. He's just a super great/charming/respectful guy. :smileyhappy:

Buuut, I don't want to be "the teen girl who's dating the manager" but then again I like this guy too much to let what coworkers say and such get in the way. Plus...there's that six year age difference...maybe he's just being polite to me and thinks of me of a baby or something? Ah. I need help/advice/opinions from outside sources.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I don't think that 6 yrs is a huge age difference.  I think if he does like you you should probably take things slower than normal to find out if he's sincere.  It's one thing to be the girl who's dating the manager, it's another to be the teen girl who was having sex w/ the manager & who was then dumped by him.  If you do date, I would keep it secret from the coworkers.  Also think about how easy it would be for you to get aother job if you had to--obviously he's the manager--he'd be staying there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

As usual, I agree with Music.   

Adding to her response, my initial reaction when reading your note was to think "yes, he clearly finds you attractive, but what are his intentions?"     He could simply be enjoying flirting and has no intention of taking it further.   He may want you as a girlfriend.  Or he may just want to sleep with you.

I suggest holding out on him unless he starts asking you on proper dates and wants a relationship.   And yes, if it all goes sour, are there other jobs around?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004

What is the company policy about managers and employees dating?  Many companies frown on it, or even forbid it.  From their point of view, people who are in a relationship will not be tending to the company's business during working hours, managers who are dating their subordinates are likely to be showing favoritism, and subordinates who date their managers expect to be cut an inappropriate amount of slack at the expense of other employees.  Disregarding the company's regulations is not a trivial matter--it can cause either or both of you to lose your jobs, and it may be harder for the manager to find another one equivalent to the one he lost.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2006
Agree with the others. It's not what co-workers say that's important but how upper management views a higher-up dating a subordinate.

Where I used to work, one of the secretaries was dating one of the vice-presidents of the company...and yes, he was just about as high up as you could get excluding the president of the company. She then decided she deserved special treatment and stopped performing any work at all, choosing instead to do her nails and talk on her phone to her friends all day long. She ended up getting fired! She thought dating the VP guaranteed she'd never be fired, but she was dead wrong.

So, proceed with a LOT of caution...not only could your job be on the line, but he could be one of those managers who think their job is a happy hunting ground to find young women to sleep with. And you can't know him well enough yet to know if he's just a player using his position to get chicks to have sex with him. Of course, he'll claim you're the only one he's ever slept with from work, but you're smart enough not to fall for that line, right?
Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
If you would really like to try going out with him then take it slow. Only by dating over a decent amount if time can you determine his true intentions. If his intentions are not honorable then his interest will drop off once you do not put out fast enough. However you must be prepared to quit this job because it all can go south in a hurry and make working there very awkward.