My Perfect? I can't believe I've found someone so amazing and I'm terrified I'm going to ruin it

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2011
My Perfect? I can't believe I've found someone so amazing and I'm terrified I'm going to ruin it
11
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 1:32pm

Hi, I've not posted on here in a few years but would really appreciate any advice, bear with me while I give you a quick background to me:

I'm 35, had an awful history with relationships and family - my first experience was being raped by two school 'friends' which led me to run away from home and get pregnant age 16 (didn't think anyone would believe me, I was desperate to be loved and thought a baby would solve that...not at the time, but in hindsight I can see it) My mum was an alcoholic and abusive, and my dad was a workaholic and not approachable.

anyway, fast forward to me now, I have two amazing sons, got a decent job, just sold my house as was fed up with trying to do two jobs and have two lodgers to pay bills after getting rid of husband number two (laziest wotsit ever) and was umming and ahing as to what to do next.

Went to a high school reunion and my first love (from age 14, we were so shy back then we just held hands) walked in and it was as if no one else was there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
It is definitely hard to give up that independence once you've come to enjoy it. I find myself still looking for little ways to have my time alone apart from my second husband, because I need it now. The key to a healthy relationship is to have an "us" and a "me" and to maintain and cherish both.

Glad you found a counselor to help you begin to sort some of this out.
"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

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