newbie - man getting fat - means no s--x

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
newbie - man getting fat - means no s--x
11
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 11:52am

hello everybody,

Last night my boyfriend and I had an argument about having sex. He said that he doesn't want to do it right now because he's getting fat. And he doesn't have the stamina and energy! Is it true that when a guy is getting fat, he's not interested in having sex anymore? I know there are other ways, but he just said NO to me last night. and it hurt my feelings.

kathe

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 10:47pm

It sounds like the problem is more one of not being clear on what's needed and/or finding different ways of being satisfied than weight. Based on what you've said, I'm guessing he's feeling pretty inadequate and is avoiding sex to avoid feeling more inadequate - that's not a good place for him to be and it's not a situation you want to take hold in your relationship.


I know it can be difficult talking about sex, but once you get used to talking about it, it will become easier. When you talk take your time, go slow and be sure you adequately explain what you're trying to convey. The words may be hard for you to use, but please remember, if you're an adult who is close enough to have a sexual relationship with someone, you should be able to talk to that someone about anything with -- certainly about the very things you do with them! Let him know at the beginning that this talk will be difficult, that often helps take some of the pressure off you and it puts him more at ease too. DON'T talk in the bedroom, that's huge. Keep your talk away from there. Be sure you don't blame and avoid wording things in a way that might convey to him that he's at fault or to blame.


Good luck and let us know how it goes. If you need more help or suggestions, let us know!







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