NO R E S P E C T or just imaging???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
NO R E S P E C T or just imaging???
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 8:04pm

I am new here. I would like an opinion on the following:

I have been married for 12 years to a man who I love dearly.

In the past four years were have been going through a VERY DIFFICULT BIG TIME legal problem pertaining to a business that we both owned. (Fraud charges)

My Husband went to the Lawyer last week and as usual he took his cell phone with him.

I did not go with him to the Lawyer's office. I placed a call to his cell phone in the late afternoon and a woman picked up his phone. I was obviously "Taken aback" but I asked if my hubby was available. I told the lady who answered his cell phone who I was and asked her who she was. The Woman replied " He is not here and I am very busy now." She then just hung up the phone. I just left it alone for about 10 minutes then tried the phone number gain. The same woman picked up the phone, so I asked again "Who is this please?" she replied "I don't have time for this" and hung up again. Well you can imagine what was going through my head at this point ????

I then proceeded to call my brother-in-law (Hubby's brother)and asked him to please call my Hubby's cell phone and he did and got the same woman who just said to him. "Oh he has just stepped out. Can I have him return your call?" My brother-in-law left a message.

I did not say anything to my hubby about it ,cuz I knew after my Brother-in-Law called the cell phone that my hubby was at the Lawyer's office for sure. I guessed that this "woman" had the cell phone and just decided to pick the phone up when it rang. I thought about this situation again the next day and I decided to call the Lawyer's Office to find out who the woman was that picked up my Hubby's cell phone because she had been was SO RUDE. A girl answered the phone and I asked her if she was the one answering my Hubby's cell phone yesterday. She said that she was not the same girl, but, I explained the situation to her. She was VERY UPSET by the other girl's behavior and she said she would find out who it was and speak to her right away. You see... my feelings were, if the woman was so rude to me and she works at a Lawyer's office, then she is probably that rude to everyone who calls her! I thought she should be more respectful to people on the phone...

Now it does not end there..

Last week, my Hubby went to the Lawyers office again in the afternoon..about 1:30pm. He asked me to come and pick him up at about 4:30pm.So I went to the Lawyer's Office about 4:25pm. I get into the Law Office Lobby and a girl is sitting at the Reception. She was writing and writing away and did not even look up from her desk. I had known that my Hubby and the Law Student were in the usual boardroom. I knew the boardroom is RIGHT NEXT TO RECEPTION cuz I had been in here about 3 times before myself.

Not wanting to interrupt this Girl from her writing, I just said to her "Excuse me but I am just going into that boardroom to get my Husband cuz he asked me to come get him"

She just looked at me and said.."Where are you going...You cannot go in there" I looked at her and explained that I was going to get my Husband cuz he asked me to get him at 4:30.

(My Husband I are BIG CLIENTS at this Law Firm and they know us well)

She just gave me a BIG SIGH. I then just knocked on the Boardroom door and proceeded in.

When I got inside the Boardroom..I said to the Law Clerk and my Hubby "Excuse me but my Hubby asked me to come get him" My Hubby saw I was distressed and asked me "What's wrong?" I just said (TO HIM AND HIM ONLY) "The Girl on Reception must be the BITCH that answered your cell phone last time when I called here" My Hubby looked at me with a "What the hell are you talking about??" look and then said "What???" I just replied "Never mind"

We left the Office a few minutes after that.

Well...Today I went to the mailbox and I noticed a Letter addressed CONDIDENTIAL to "me" from this same Lawyers' Office.

It read as follows...

" Mrs. M .If you come to our Office again and conduct yourself in such a will not be allowed in. The Next time you come, you are asked to conduct yourself in a manner in a Professional manner while in our Offices"

It was signed with the Lawyer's name and a "per" with the initials "GL."

(underneath in type was the Lawyer's name.) (The Law Office belongs to a Prominent Lawyer in Ontario)


I thought..Oh my God my pretrial is coming up in can I go to this Office with this hanging over my head???

I still do not understand any of this??? Was it because of the cell phone call? Was it because I called the Office the next day to report the "RUDE GIRL" Was it because I went into the Boardroom without the Receptionist's Permission?"

I did not want my hubby to even know anything about this..cuz I know that he likes this Prominent Lawyer..this is the second Lawyer that he has been through...

What is your opinion on this??? Should I leave my Hubby to this Law Office and find a new Lawyer???

By the way..I am very defensive toward my Hubby. I defend him to the ground. I did not know who the woman was who answered his cell phone... that is why this hurts me so much..I am always afraid of losing him!!! I am so UPSET BY THIS!!!

Please help with advise!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 10:06pm
It doesn't sound like the letter came from the lawyer, nor does it sound like the kind of reaction that a lawyer would extend toward a client or the way he would do it if he were going to...unless, perhaps, the bitch in the reception room was his daughter and she told him some kind of story. I'd discuss all of it (including the phone calls and your suspicions) with your husband and take it from there.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 10:34pm
You must have been very upset when you wrote this post, because it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Why, for instance, if a stranger answered your husband's cell phone, would you not ask him how that came to be? And for that matter, why would an employee of a law firm be answering your husband's phone in the first place? Does the law firm require that clients leave their cell phones on and at the receptionist's desk?

I think you're under a great deal of stress and it's interfering with your ability to see things clearly and to control your emotions. That's understandable if you have a big law suit pending. Please calm down and take care of yourself.

If I misunderstood what you described, however, please don't take offense at my suggestion above. It's just that your story gave me that impression at the first read.

Lee M.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 11:09pm
Thanks for replying...

Yes...I was very upset when I wrote this!!!!

This is the explanation that my Hubby gave me (after this happened of course):

The reason why the cell phone was at Reception was because he cannot have a cell phone in the Lawyer's boardroom.(???) He left it at Reception because he was expecting an important phone call and he wanted to make sure that someone was there to answer the phone (???)

As to why the woman was so rude: I guess that she did not want to answer his phone or something like that...BUT HOW WAS I TO KNOW THIS ??? IF SHE DID NOT WANT TO ANSWER HIS PHONE..THEN SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE ANSWERED IT AT ALL OR TOLD SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT ????


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-18-2003 - 2:19pm
Is this about the way you're treated in your attorney's office, is it about trusting your husband or both?

If it's about how you were treated by the law firm, I'd suggest your first action should be to contact the attorney directly and give him an accurate accounting of the incidents. From now on you should ask for the name of any staff member when making phone calls to his office and any further incidents should be well documented by you and reported to the office manager or your attorney if there is no manager.

Since you are also a frequent client of that law firm, you should know whether or not cell phones are not allowed in the board room. If you don't know, it should be easy to find out if this is the policy or not. You also know whether you believe your husband's explanation is plausible. The fact that you'd have your brother-in-law try to get through would indicate you don't. Are there other reasons for you to have suspicion or is this the first?

As Lee said, you're under a great amount of stress, take care of yourself. Do you have a friend you can discuss your problems and concerns with? Just being able to verbally vent them can go a long way in putting them in perspective and keeping your stress level down.


"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 1:32pm
I am not sure why you are upset at your HUSBAND? do you think your husband is somehow involved with this receptionist?

look --- this receptionist is waaaaaay outta line. period. you have to deal with that the way you would deal with ANY service-person who is outta line.

you do not complain to one of her peers. you complain to whomever is the boss/bosses. if you are big clients - the last thing they want is you to take your business elsewhere. get names of people, have things in writing. even making a note to yourself - *spoke with Ms. rudeness on May 17 at 10 AM* or whatever. I know you are really upset and angry, I have a feeling (could be wrong) that you are so stressed out about other issues, that you are not *seeing* this for what it is...

as to the specifics: 1) it is very possible that they asked your husband to leave his cell phone by reception because having phones ring during meetings is very annoying. it is possible that your husband asked this person to answer his phone (THAT in and of itself is not an issue).

2) your husband is not responsible for this person's manners - her bosses are

3) it sounds to me like this *letter* was written by Ms. rudeness herself without her bosses' knowledge. sorry, it doesn't sound like something a lawyer would send to anyone, let alone a "big" client.