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| Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:42pm |
I love my bf dearly. He is a sweet, funny, thoughtful, wonderful man. I have problems with a few things in out relationship though. Number one would be his ex-wife. Certain things just bug the heck out of me. He has custody of his 2 daughters, they live with us. He will change our plans to suit her! If she decides she wants the girls he will take them to her and go pick them up. However if it were the other way around she would never go out of her way! They were married for 13 years, his family reunion has been the same day EVERY year. She planned her vacation for that week. Not a huge deal, when you can get the time off work sometimes you have to take it. However, they were planning on leaving Friday night, unless her bf'd sister had to work, they were waiting on her and not leaving until sat night. The reunion was Sat afternoon. They could wait on his sister but not for the girls to see their family they only see once a year. The girls were crushed. He of course said nothing. Then their aunt made plans to take the girls away for the weekend, it ended up being the same weekend of her work picnic, he made his sister reschedule for her.
When I first moved in with him, we were cleaning out stuff, and I found a letter, and a journal. It was poems and letters written to her (they were dated a couple years ago). Saying how he hopes someday she realizes they were meant to be, how he still loves her, he always will. I know he did not want the divorce at all. He took her back twice after she left. This made me very uneasy, I finally brought it up to him, and he threw it away. I never asked him to, and told him that if he wanted to keep it that was fine but it needed to be packed away. He says he hates her, which to me the opposite of love isn't hate it is indifference, yet if she gets on the phone will talk to her about stupid stuff that in my opinion does not need to be discussed. The other day his girls were with her, they called my phone, talked to him. She got on the phone and he talked to her for 15 mins on my phone about her car, and what they bought on vacation.
She disrespects me. Not in what she says but what she does. She will come into the house when I am not there, yet when I am there will send one of the girls in to get their dad because "she needs to talk to him". When we go pick them up she has one of the girls have him get out of the truck and they will stand 2 ft from the truck, just like because I am sitting there she won't walk over. She tells the girls she thinks they like me better, in my opinion to guilt them into not liking me, because it is "hurting her feelings". She called him the other day while we were on our way to drop the girls off with her, she calls and asked him to stop and pick her up something at the store! We were already passed the store so he didn't but I am sure he would have. We gave her beds for the girls. We had to store them for her, and then he took them up to her as well. The she called and asked if he had sheets, he said YES and gave them to her. I was going to take the girls to her one day, on OUR time because she wanted them, I told the girls to ask her to meet me in the middle, she said she didn't know where the town was I was talking about, the biggest town in this area where EVERYTHING is. Yet later that night, knew where it was when my bf asked when they were and the girls asked there mom and she said on the other side of the town that 2 hours earlier, she didn't know how to get to. Once again nothing was said. He said he was going to say something, but never did.
Does he not see this? Or is he holding on to the past? I haven't talked to him about this, but I don't know how to. I have never been a jealous person, but I guess this is what jealousy feels like, and I don't like it. Should I be jealous? Should I let this go? Should I tell him it is bothering me? I love this man so much, and want it to work, I just don't know how to talk to him about with out sounding like a crazy teenager who thinks some other girls is getting to much attention. How do I talk to him about this?

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